From age 2 to about 6, Youngest Son often suffered terrible nightmares as well as what’s become known as Night Terrors. Night Terrors are basically, according to my understanding, episodes of extreme fear and anxiety with no apparent cause and they happen, strangely enough :), in the middle of the night.
If your little one is suffering this (and you’re suffering too, by default!), I came across this terrific and practical post about it, which I recommend to you:
On our way home from seeing the Iron Man movie on Sunday (which totally ROCKED by the way!), Youngest Son (8 years old) begins to ask me about suicide and why people do it. As I’m fumbling for an answer, he begins to share about how he thinks it’s probably because they have so many problems and can’t fix them, and how he can understand why they’d do it.
I’m freaking out (quietly but genuinely), thinking “Dear Lord, don’t let him see this as an option, don’t let him see this as an option…”. Then I chime in with one of those parental cliches you pull out of the air:
“Well, mate, every problem has an answer, so people don’t have to commit suicide.”
He then takes the thinking further with what I think was a fantastic analogy:
“Yeah, Dad, it’s like math problems. They always have an answer, so EVERY problem has an answer too. That’s cool.”
I’m once again reassured that my son has an optimistic outlook on life and that he won’t be a morbid suicidal teen in a few years! … Then my mind actually pays attention to what he said, and I reply, “that’s a very wise thing to say, bud. Math problems. I like that.”
Then I ask him if he would be ok with me sharing his idea on my blog.
“Sure,” he responds. “And you could say that you were impressed at what your little son said and really were a freakedout father.”
… Man he’s on a roll here!
So…
I was impressed at what my little son said and really was a freakedout father.
Dads out there, if I’ve learned nothing else in my time, I’ve learned the following…
You can let life happen to you. You can let life happen to your kids. You can let events control your family, determine your actions, shape your thinking, take their own course and carry you or your kids with them.
Or ….
You can wrestle with life, negotiate with it, make a dent in your obstacles. You can shape events, you can surf them! You can determine your own actions and responses. You can set the wheels in motion. You can be creative and adapt. You can find another way forward. You can be engaged with your kids. You can be involved. You can grow. You can learn. You can be intentional, purposeful…
And you can teach your children to do the same.
Intention.
You can build a closer relationship with your kids.
Intention.
You can change the status quo if you don’t like it.
Intention.
You can create outcomes that fill you with pride, or at the very least make an effort that you can be proud of!
Intention.
Intention determines your results far more than the forces over which you have no control. Far more than your own demons or flaws.
What are your hopes for your children? What is your goal for your family? Who do you want to be, as a Father, as a Man?
Intentionality, creativity, purpose, perserverence. Man. These are your birthright … and they can be your legacy.
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On our way home from seeing the 
You can let life happen to you. You can let life happen to your kids. You can let events control your family, determine your actions, shape your thinking, take their own course and carry you or your kids with them.
