The Dangerous Book for Boys (+ a couple o’ Movie reviews)

Written in the style of the “Boys Own” literature, this book has a nostalgic (1950s) feel to it. Reading it is like reading a very long “Annual” or magazine: you find yourself flicking through for the most intersting articles.

Many of the articles (or chapters – which range from one to ten pages long) simply weren’t interesting to me, or my boys. The subject choice is rather random, which means hit and miss. Some of the “misses” were Common British Trees and Making Crystals. Australian, South African and New Zealand readers will be as irritated by all the Northern Hemisphere astronomy, geography and sporting references as I was.

Having said this, there were many chapters that were interesting and quite a few that I found very helpful.

The interesting ones included:

• Making a paper water bomb
• Making tripwires and pressure plates (SO many applications for this)
• Famous battles, 12 of them (including the Alamo and the battle that the Spartan movie 300 is based on)
• A Brief History of Artillery (what boy doesn’t like pictures of Trebuchets and cannons?)

The helpful ones included:

• Rules for Chess (this settled any disputes Oldest Son and I have over how to play)
• Pen & Paper games (I’ve been trying to remember some of these from my own childhood and now they’re back! A nice alternative to the Nintendo Wii)
• Table Football (ditto; I had forgotten this game but the tournament in the Aldin household begins in earnest tomorrow)

And here’s the real test: while many of the chapters don’t grab my boys at all, when I first got the book, it fell open to the page on paper airplanes and Youngest Son was all over that, with great enthusiasm. (I even made my first paper plane that actually worked!) Then Oldest Son grabbed it and read the section on Codes and Cyphers.

I reckon the chief value of this book was to introduce stories and activities that add diversity to my kids’ love of Video games and CGI movies. Its secondary value was in being a resource more reliable than Wikipedia the lads can to turn to for school projects (& I can turn to for help on rainy holidays).

Finally, my very favourite quote from the book(in the chapter Advice About Girls): “Avoid being vulgar. Excitable bouts of windbreaking will not endear you to a girl.”

[To which my response is: "Yeah, but what can you do?"]

(I found out that you can even download a 14 page excerpt of the book to see if it’s for you.)

***

While I’m in a reviewing mood, 3 (of my favourite) older movies that my 11 year old has enjoyed and 3 that he thought sucked eggs:

Cool:

1. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (go figure!)
2. The Karate Kid
3. The first live action Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie.

Suck:

1. King Kong (the 1976 version – and he has a point)
2. The original Planet of the Apes (1969)
3. Superman (Christopher Reeves style)

Don’t bother trotting the last 3 out with hopes that the kids will like them…

The Gospel According to … Lego??!

Well, Easter is nearly upon us. And sometimes us crazy Christian-folk have been accused of messing up our kids’ minds with what is a very violent story. (Mind you, the same people generally let their kids watch The Simpson’s Itchy and Scratchy, Ninja Turtles and war movies, but I digress).

So if Mel Gibson’s Passion is a little too bloody to help your kids understand the Easter story, don’t despair! For someone-eth hath invented …

(dramatic pause)

…the Lego Bible!

Here’s the short version of the Easter story [clicketh thou on the pictures to enlargeth them]…

Jesus cries out in agony from the cross.

The Romans break the legs of the first criminal crucified with Jesus to stop him from pushing himself up to get air into his lungs. This is their way of killing him quickly.

They do the same to other criminal – but they find that Jesus is already dead. [And doesn't that Lego hammer look good?]

3 days later and there’s an empty tomb.

(There you have it. The G-rated version … And a great ad for Lego!)

Slang that Australian Parents Might Use: N-P

 N is for -

 

• Nappy – diaper

 ***

O is for –

• Oldies or Olds - parents or grandparents.  

 ***

P is for –

• Prawn - I’ll probably never use this but it needs to go in. Prawn = shrimp
• Prezzie – present, gift. (Chrissie prezzies = Christmas presents)

Dinosaurs!

So, we were lucky enough to get to see Walking with Dinosaurs – the live experience – last weekend. What an awesome thing it was, too!

This Gen-X-er was one happy camper. When I was a boy, the best effects in movies were basically baby alligators and gila monsters dressed up to look like dummosaurus and whatthehellkindofdinosauristhatus !

So being metres away from something as well constructed and detailed as the monsters in this show was sensational. It was certainly aided by the huge sound system really driving the T-Rex roar straight through your stomach lining…

And then there was my kids’ response to it.

Oh, they enjoyed it ok, sure, but they were also very disappointed there were no FIGHTS. (Youngest Son complained all the way home).

And to be honest, I guess they have a point. I mean, how could you have a T-Rex and a Torosaurus in the same arena and not have a goring or two, followed by the herbivore losing a limb to the carnivore in a shower of blood? I guess that was another just $5 million that the producers weren’t prepared to spend …

Still, for ME, it was enough just to look at the marvellous craftsmanship.

The other thing that made me chuckle (and demonstrated the difference between Gen X and Generation Z, who are basically kids under 13) happened several times: here would be this enormous specimen of dino-kind, and Youngest Son would have his head cranked around 180 degrees looking at the monitor screen, complaining “Why don’t they put it on the screen??”

Kids these days …

 

It’d Take a Bit of Organizing, But …

Jimmy always had trouble getting up on time for school  … until the morning his parents brought some special friends to visit…

Just What are You Trying to Say?

You fathers (and mothers) out there will no doubt have come across some interesting things in your kids’ schoolbags (if you have the pleasure of cleaning them out, that is).

Stuff like:

• Someone else’s yoyo
• That piece of carrot you put in their lunchbox 3 months ago
• Incendiary devices
• Love letters
• Notes that last year’s teacher sent home to you … last year…

Well, I pulled out a sheaf of papers from Youngest Son’s bag recently and was going through them. My reasoning? There might be some work he’s completed I can affirm him on. (C’mon, say it with me: “What a good Dad”).

What I actually discovered was the sheet below.

Now before you look closely at it, let me explain that my kids attend an indepent Christian school, hence the biblical reference in the sheet.

Here’s your challenge: Look at the sheet and tell me what the heck-a-rooney it’s trying to say…

So, what’s the message here??

Things that Annoy Me More than They Should, Number 17

So there was this series of films or whatever called Jackass, right? Never seen it myself, don’t feel the need to, have three friends who basically video themselves doing similar stuff – not the point.

The point is: in Australia, we automatically change the American vowel sound for words that have a long “a” in the middle. So “can’t” pronounced by an Australian sounds like “cahn’t”, “pass” becomes “pahss” – you get the idea.

I’m becoming irrationally annoyed by the amount of Aussies who pronounce Jackass “jackarse”.

It’s not talking about the backside of some bloke named Jack. A jackass is a donkey. And it’s pronounced the same whether you’re American, Canadian, English, Irish or Aussie. Spread the word people!

… Now, I’ve got that off my chest, all is well with the world again…

Child obesity rate is ‘likely to double’

An article published in Melbourne newspaper The Age

Jill Stark
February 12, 2007

Australia’s obesity epidemic is reaching crisis point and the number of overweight children will rise to 60 per cent within 30 years unless the Government invests billions, according to a health expert.

Kevin Norton, professor of exercise science at Sport Knowledge Australia, accused state and federal governments of failing to stem rising obesity rates, which could cripple the national health system.

In the first study to look at the weight of Australian children over the last century, researchers found that obesity rates jumped from 4 per cent in 1901 to more than 30 per cent in 2003.

The study found that in 30 years’ time the number of overweight or obese children will double, matching the current rate of adult obesity.

Professor Norton likened the seriousness of the problem to that of climate change and said failure to act now could have devastating consequences.

“We are going to need new money – in the same way we’ve done with the climate change issue – for interventions to tackle the problem,” he said. “If we’re going to have an impact we’ll need hundreds of millions, if not billions … because we’re running out of money and the health-care costs can’t continue.”

The report, published in the International Journal of Pediatric Obesity, took in data from 41 studies since 1901 that weighed 500,000 Australian children aged five to 15.

The figures reveal a low, steady rate of obesity until the 1970s when the rate increased.

Professor Norton said the spike coincided with a decline in physical education in schools, and called for compulsory classes from year 1 to year 12.

“It’s got to be put in the same bracket as maths and English and reading and writing skills. If we do national testing for that surely we should educate our kids about their health through physical activity and nutrition programs in schools,” he said.

“Last year’s estimates of direct financial costs placed the obesity epidemic throughout Australia at somewhere around $3.5 billion.”

The Age revealed last year that Australia has the fastest growing rate of childhood obesity in the world.

Professor Norton described recent Government prevention measures – such as a ban on soft drinks in Victorian state schools – as little more than “tinkering”.

Professor Norton said policies such as adding half a cent per litre to the price of petrol could generate enough money to put one physical education teacher into every school in Australia for a year.

*****

Not sure I want to pay MORE for petrol Professor, but if we could be sure they’d spend it on PE teachers, then I would …

I reckon there’s more we can do without waiting for government: for instance, what if primary/elementary school teachers and parents cooperated to give lower homework levels (which are ridiculously high for children and largely achieve nothing but stress anyway) in the Summer/Daylight-Savings months and to send kids outside to play (no computer, no TV, no Gameboy)?

Sorry, crazy idea…

Scary Mary – freakin’ funny

What did we do before YouTube?

[yeah, alright, we did that!]

Anyway …

Oh, the difference a soundtrack and editing makes. Here’s a couple of absolute beauties where a Wonderful Magical Nerd has re-edited the trailers to old movies:

• The trailer for Mary Poppins remixed as a Victorian horror film called Scary Mary. Very very funny.
• The Shining remixed as an uplifting G-rated comedy-drama.

“But how could that be, Uncle Pete?”

Just click the links and see for yourself!

Happy Birthday Ewrokka

Oldest Son [sometimes known online as Ewrokka] turned 11 yesterday. Yes. e-le-ven!

I have officially become one of those men that feels older because of the age of his children.

One of the two celebrations we had for his birthday involved taking a small group of his mates out to an all-you-can-eat restaurant.

When you watch a group of 11-12 year old boys at one of these eating-places, you notice two of the most profound behavioural cues that they will soon be men:

1. the scientific debate about whether eating slowly or eating quicly will help you eat more, and

2. the serious commitment to cram as much food into their gut in the time available.

One of the lads – let’s call him H – even out-ate me (and I well-and-truly crossed the line between eating a lot and gluttony). While three of the other boys were half lying on the table at the end of the night, holding their stomache and muttering “Oh I don’t feel well” over and over again, H would cheerfully declare “I’m not full yet.”

He backed up this claim by taking two bread rolls from the buffet as we were leaving and eating them in the car. [He also found time apparently to write his name in butter on the carpark wall, which I didn't see but which I'm sure increased his legendary status amongst his peers]. Anyway, my hat’s off to H.

Well, Happy Birthday, Ewrokka. You’ve been both a joy and a challenge to raise toward manhood so far and you’ve made my life far richer than I could ever have imagined. Fight the good fight – and may your twelfth year on Earth be full of adventure, grace and growth!

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