Inspired by an older post at Genuineblog - and by the half dozen single male mates I still have (even at 40) - I thought I might compile a list of some of the differences in the ways single males (even married ones with no kids) and married-with-kids-males live and communicate.
- Single or Childless Male: Eats whatever and whenever he wants to … like a friend of mine Michael who would polish off a huge mixing bowl full of Froot Loops for dinner before he was married with kids.
- Married Male with kids: Eats vegetables and sensible food, at the table, with a knife and fork. (The Froot Loops are hidden in the cupboard for late night snacks.)
- Single or Childless Male: Plays with his toys.
- Married Male with kids: Plays with his kid’s toys (but tries to buy them stuff that he likes)
- Single or Childless Male: Sleeps in on weekends.
- Married Male with kids: Doesn’t.
- Single or Childless Male: Wouldn’t be caught dead watching children’s television programs.
- Married Male with kids: Will still be glued to TMNT, Sesame Street and Kim Possible long after the kids have gotten bored and wandered from the room.
- Single or Childless Male: Listens to good music.
- Married Male with kids: Listens to the Wiggles, Barney and the latest American/Australian/Israeli/British “Idol”.
- Single Male: Three of my single friends (the self-proclaimed 3 Amigos) shudder in horror when they hear the dreaded “R”-word. They remind me of the Knights Who Say Nih who couldn’t abide hearing the word “it”. Anyway, the R-word? … responsibility… (“Agh, don’t say it! Agh now I’ve said it!” - sorry, too much Monty Python when I was young)
- Married Male with kids: Tries his best to stop belching, picking his toenails with his fork and lighting his farts in front of the kids - at least when The Mrs is home. Embraces responsibility as the eventual consequence of intra-marital sex…
- Single Male: Stays out as long as he wants and thinks nothing of it.
- Married Male with kids: If he’s out with his friends or for business, keeps track of everything he did so he can account for the evening to his wife. [Addendum: In the age of video cell phones, he now checks in at least twice to prove he's not out with some chick]
- Single Male:Dreams of a regular sex life
- Married Male with kids: … actually … that doesn’t change…
12 responses so far ↓
Bad Dad // May 1, 2007 at 10:40 am
Your list is very intuitive. In my marketing alter-ego, my colleagues and I “mine data” to profile consumer segments and create personas about the ideal customer for a brand. We take it to such granular levels that we know which shows they watch on TV and how much they are likely to spend. The only thing we don’t know is whether they are likely to light farts for their kid’s/own amusement.
Pete // May 1, 2007 at 11:30 am
Sounds like a great question on the next poll.
themolk // May 3, 2007 at 2:42 pm
But Pete, you missed all the good stuff in reverse…
SM: Sleeps in.
MMWK: Gets woken up by children on Christmas/Easter/birthday with massive smile of expectation. Gets to help unwrap the presents and play with them in that moment of inital joy of child receiving present.
SM: Dreams of a regular sex life.
MMWK: While sex is good and important, it can wait. Trust me, I have to keep believing it can.
Etc…
Pete // May 3, 2007 at 3:06 pm
What are you doing draggin us into the positive side of life, Molky-boy?
Actually I agree with both your contributions - and it’d be a worthwhile exercise to go down the list and keep adding those positive truths.
Christmas had lost its appeal to me … until the kids came along. Now I love the shopping, the hiding and the giving of those presents … as well as the playing with same.
And think of all those awesome Ninja Turtle episodes I’d have missed without my boys drawing me in…
themolk // May 4, 2007 at 9:38 am
I cannot WAIT to go and see the new TMNT, as a means of market research for Luke. Same with the Transformers movie and Spidey3.
I am so looking forward to that first outing to the movies, just him and me. I don’t care how innane the animated/cgi-filled tome it is, just me and my little boy having our belief suspended for 90 minutes together…
Then there’s his first footy game live, his first ride on the bike with me, his first bike, etc, etc, etc… This is not in anyway to say that guys with no kids couldn’t understand or are second-class citizens by any extreme… just that the joys for fathers are WAY different (and without being rude, quite often less selfish).
I had so much fun preparing Luke’s birthday presents last night with Michelle. Then seeing his face as he played with them before I went to work this morning… priceless…
How can I be at work when I want to be at home, being just another kid?!
Pete // May 4, 2007 at 1:44 pm
It’s Spidey 3 tonight with the boys - it’s gonna go OFF!
One of my favourite times with the family was going to the midnight opening session of Revenge of the Sith, with all the dressedup crazies and what-not. Have a great picture of my boys in Darth Vader masks standing with a bunch of other Vaders. Great memory…
themolk // May 8, 2007 at 8:22 am
So, what did you think of Spiderman 3, Pete? I saw it on Sunday night, and… the fights were good, and the rest was a crappy love story. Also, the timeline jumped all over the place, with no regard or mention for showing how that happened. It was the worst of the 3 so far, I say…
Pete // May 8, 2007 at 12:33 pm
Boo! I give it 4 stars out of 5 man. You just kind of edit out the crappy love story as the movie goes (you know, tune out, crack a joke with your son next to you) - I actually liked the sexed up Peter Parker scenes and the Eddie Brock character.
The only thing that annoyed me was that the series is now 3 for 3: MJ gets abducted and strung up in mid-air by the villain in EVERY episode. Really annoying!
And I actually liked the theme (which I won’t mention in case it spoils the plot for whoever might be reading) that weaves through Spidey’s relationships with everyone including MJ.
But anyway, my wife thought it was ordinary mainly becasue of the acting of the extras and minor characters.
I’m with you in the fight scenes though! How cool was the Sandman CGI???
themolk // May 8, 2007 at 3:06 pm
Dude, we should take this offline before we bore everyone senseless with our reviews of S3!
The CGI - superb. The fight scenes were amazing. How many times does Harry have to DIE!? Will he just wake up at the start of S4?! I like that the Sandman just vanished, leaving that open for future battles.
I am with you - I did like the deeper exploration of PP’s relationships, and that some of the Spidey press had gone to his head. Can only make for a better S4… (let’s face it, unless MJ gets killed in the next one, they need someone else to be captured and get strung up, etc, etc, etc…).
Pete // May 8, 2007 at 4:27 pm
Bore people?? Us??? I think not ….
I’m totally hoping Sandman comes back! (Sorry, the “totally” was completely gratuitous)
Apparently there was a series in the comics where he and Hydroman (water-guy basically) fuse and become … you guessed it … Mudman. That’d make interesting cinema…
My prediction for S4?:
MJ will have mysteriously vanished from the storyline (like Viki Vale between the 1st and 2nd Michael Keaton Batman films) - it’ll be set 5 years later on when Pete’s earned his degree, & is working for Dr Connors when Connors becomes Lizard (that becoming the next complex relationship). Pete and Felicia Hardy will hook up (as a precursor to a spin-off into a series of Black Cat films), while he is protecting both himself and Lizard from Kraven the Hunter…
How’s that for Nerdiness??
themolk // May 9, 2007 at 11:43 am
Pete… we need to talk… you geek.
Between your friendly neighbourhood Spiderman, X-Men, Fantastic Four… it’s a great time to be a comic book nerd with some cash to go and see a film or two!
Pete // May 9, 2007 at 11:45 am
Amen brother, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-men!
(or is that xmen?)
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