Yeah, I thought that headline would get your attention. Welcome to all the google-searchers who entered the word “sex” and found their way here. Sorry to disappoint you, but there’s no pictures…

This one’s for all the Dads out there who read that headline and sighed, saying “I hear ya buddy.”

(I might just add it’s not my headline, but that’s another story … and one you’ll never hear)

In my bumbling and stumbling around cyberspace (or hitchhiking as my friend Steve Sherlock calls it), I came across an absolute “bottler” of a blog with advice for everyone. (”Bottler” is an Aussie slang term for a really really cool thing).

Rod Smith at Difficult Relationships basically invites questions on … difficult relationships … and answers them. Simple concept but expertly and succinctly done. No long rambling posts for Rod. I can highly recommend it.

Back to the matter at hand, here’s Rod’s entire post on the topic:

Reader writes: My wife complains when I want sex. When we do have sex she just doesn’t really get involved and says it is all to keep me quiet. I have never been unfaithful and I don’t ever want to be.

Response: There are no easy answers to this deep human issue. You might begin with viewing your bedroom as a metaphor of what is, or is not, occurring in your broader relationships.

Before you look at your wife’s lack of interest in sex with you, you might want to assess your contribution to the wholeness of your marriage and family.

Sexual behavior cannot be understood or “helped” by isolating it from everything else occurring in your marriage and family.

The person who wants sex least, is the person who is holding the reigns of control in the relationship. I’d suggest your wife is tired of “bad” or boring sex, which it sounds to me, is what she experiences with you. Any person with a smidgeon of a “sense of self” would want to stop engaging in “bad” or unfullfilling sex.

There is no good reason for unfaithfulness. Such action on your part will not help you with the dissatisfaction that exists between you and your wife. It would lead to no long-term good.

I’d suggest you read David Schnarch’s PASSIONATE MARRIAGE. This is a wonderful book for all relationships. While it is very graphic about matters relating to sex, it is never pornographic. Couples wanting to read the book would be wise to invest in two copies rather than try to share one copy! Sharing one copy of this book could ruin the very relationship you want to mend!!!

Did you read that and say “Ouch”? I think Rod makes some good points. This is one of those topics it’s impossible to “fix” in a blogpost, an article or even a book! But if

Sexual thoughts float through a man’s brain every fifty-two seconds on average, and through a woman’s only once a day. Peraps three to four times on her hottest days

as Fatheredfive’s reading leads us all to believe, then there’s the start of the problem. Somehow men and their partners have to meet in the middle… so to speak.

And it probably requires change and GROWTH for us blokes, maybe more than it does for the gals…