I recently published some of Patty Wipfler’s thoughts on fathers’ engaging with their kids, a major piece of our greatest calling. On the same day, I came across the following article of hers (I’m assuming Patty is a lady, forgive me if I’m wrong!)

Power Struggles Dissolve with Laughter

The very simple idea contained within was explained like this:

If your baby refuses to allow you to feed him with a spoon, you can give the spoon to him and let him feed you, even though the food will dribble down your chin because he misses more than he finds his target.

If your child won’t brush her teeth, you can yelp and complain while he brushes your teeth over and over.

When you are lighthearted enough with games like these, being the goofy “victim” or the poor, surprised target of your child’s “plot” to “get” you, your child will laugh and laugh and want to play the game a LOT. This is progress in the making. The laughter helps dissolve his feelings of powerlessness, and the distance he feels from you. It helps connect the two of you in good fun. These kinds of games are silly and deeply sensible. You play the one having trouble, and your child plays the one totally in charge. This reverses the power structure for 5 or 10 minutes, or longer if you have the time. Your child sees that you love him, sees that you don’t always insist on being in charge of everything, and benefits from the wonderful release of laughter. After playing a bit, you can then say, “OK, we do need to get dressed now,” and you are much more likely to have a child who wants to follow your lead about getting dressed.

It can’t be that easy! Or can it? Seems like a lot more fun than yelling, legislating or threatening.

(Confession/Hint: I’ve actually done this and it does help. But you need to pick age-appropriate tomfoolery. I wouldn’t let my Sixth Grader son brush my teeth these days!!)