You know, being a Dad is so counter-intuitive at times. It’s like: do the opposite of what “should” work and you’ll get the effect you wanted but weren’t actually trying to get at the time. (The whole counter-intuitive thing is why I called my business Great Circle, but that’s another story).
Act like an adult and your kids whine and rebel and complain and squabble and make bedtime a chore for the parents.
Act like a kid and …well … they treat you (and each other) with respect and even take responsibility for themselves. What gives?
Tonight, at 7 o’clock, overcome with an inexplicable sense of fun and silliness, I played 20 minutes of Zombie Tag. It’s basically as it sounds: I behave like a Zombie, shirt half over my head, eyes crossed, dragging one leg behind me and making sounds that probably had the neighbours phoning the police. Meanwhile my boys scurry away, staying just out of arms’ reach (until they get sick of being chased and want a turn at being the Zombie).
When the game was over, I said “Ok, Youngest Son, it’s your bedtime. I’m just going to wash a few dishes, then I’ll be in to read you a story.” Then Oldest Son (who was fighting with his brother and his mother only last night) says “It’s ok Dad. You don’t have to do both. You do the dishes and I’ll read him a story.”
Uh?! Did I hear right?
Oldest Son went on to sing a song to the youngest, having read him that bedtime story. Then he came and wiped up a sink full of dishes.
Meanwhile Youngest Son brushed his teeth having only been asked twice (not twelve or thirteen times) and even cleaned up the mouthwash he spilled instead of leaving it for me or mum to find when it had congealed…
Who needs Supernanny? My kids respond well to Zombies. Apparently.
13 responses so far ↓
Joe // Sep 18, 2007 at 9:44 am
That’s awesome. Yeah, Zombies and kids are a great match. I remember father-in-law once scaring Boy 12 (then 3) with a zombie mask. The kid literally climbed up my leg and clung to my neck screaming.
I’m guessing, though, that they would all react a bit more positively to some play time with Dad, even if it didn’t involve zombies, than more of the nagging they usually get from me.
Pete // Sep 18, 2007 at 10:47 am
You’re right that it’s about playtime, not zombies. Things actually started 10 minutes earlier when we started playing rugby with a pumpkin (no, my wife was not home).
And I guess I better add a disclaimer here.
Readers, please don’t go scaring your 5 year old with Zombie actions or masks. It’s about the fun and playfulness…
michmolk // Sep 18, 2007 at 10:36 pm
Ah yes, the disclaimer is helpful! I think it’ll be a few years before we can wind up our kids like that before trying to get them to sleep! Funny that your wife wasn’t home - rugby with said pumkin does not sound like a wife-and-mother approved activity….
michmolk // Sep 18, 2007 at 10:40 pm
Sorry - that would be PUMPKIN - but I have been up since 3am…the joys of parenthood…
April Groves // Sep 19, 2007 at 4:18 am
Hey now! Mom’s can play rugby with pumpkins too!
I have noticed the same thing in my house - but not just with playtime. I hadn’t considered the actual pin point before I read your post…but, I think it is just the genuine interaction that leads to security and then an easier bedtime
Just a thought
Pete // Sep 19, 2007 at 2:49 pm
I think you’re exactly right, April.
Hey folks, if you want an example of intentional and diligent parenting, visit April’s post:
http://aprilgroves.com/beautifulchaos/2007/09/17/the-village-doesnt-get-my-kids-until-it-becomes-way-less-fishy/
Pete // Sep 19, 2007 at 2:56 pm
Mich, I challenge you to at least TRY the playing of ball games with vegetables. Your kids will think you’re cool.
themolk // Sep 19, 2007 at 4:47 pm
Zombie tag always works in my head.
…and we won’t talk about the potato and capsicum rugby that may or may not already have happened at our place while DarlingWife was not in the room…
Pete // Sep 19, 2007 at 5:22 pm
Ahhhhhhhh, do you use the term “sprung bad” in Queensland … or do you prefer “busted”?
April Groves // Sep 19, 2007 at 6:17 pm
Pete - Thanks! That was an awfully nice thing for you to do
Charme // Sep 20, 2007 at 6:42 am
Hmmm…Never tried that before…Think I’ll give it a go…D’ya think it’ll work for mums?
I think you’ve got a point there…Kids tend to respond better when something’s been done to put them in a good mood.
Pete // Sep 20, 2007 at 10:05 am
Charme, it’ll work for anyone. The problem is not starting it or getting the kids involved. The problem is stopping it! Be careful where you go with your fun! (But still have fun!)
Chris // Sep 24, 2007 at 3:27 pm
Hey Pete
I’ll be interested to hear how Mad Cow views this new insight. Might help with littlies as well!
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