Wednesday’s What’s Worse V

Ah, Wednesday! Doesn’t it come around fast these days?

Some blogs use Wednesday for serious profound and even helpful purposes, like Tully’s Wordless Wednesday (Definitely worth a look) or Wordpress Wednesdays.

For me, I like to use Wednesday’s blogpost for trivial purposes. And why should today be any different? So once again, let me ask the question.

What’s worse?

• Romantic Comedies?

• Musicals?

You decide!

Why Won’t My Child Do As I Say?

This piece is lifted from the wisdom of Barbara Desmarais  (a fellow Parenting and Life Coach)

In speaking with parents a comment I frequently hear is “My child won’t listen!”  Repeated attempts in trying to get a child to co-operate often lands on deaf ears and leaves parents feeling exhausted and helpless.  Frequently we say things we later regret and become riddled with guilt.  Usual attempts often include nagging, yelling, spanking, time out, lecturing and threats.  Despite consistently not getting the results we’re looking for, we resort to the same methods time and time again.  We usually use what we were taught to use by our own parents.  Although we often resolve that we will do things differently and not resort to some of their methods of parenting, we do.  It seems to be automatic.  This is not intended to be an article about blaming our parents, rather an understanding of why we do what we do and provide some alternative responses.  There were no parenting courses for our parents and they all did the best they knew how. 

Consider for a moment your own internal response when someone you know demands that you do something or that you to stop doing something.  For the most part, we instantly become defensive and decide that we’ll do as we please.  We feel robbed of our power and control.  We often feel attacked and want to attack back.  Children have the same internal response when we use a hostile tone of voice and demand that something be stopped or that something be accomplished.

 Simply by rephrasing our request and using a more positive tone we can often get the result we’re looking for.  If children don’t feel attacked there is less of a need to become defensive and if they feel they can hold on to some power there is less of a need to gain power.  “Stop that right now!!”  can be rephrased to: “As soon as you stop doing that, I’ll know you’re ready to go the park.”   “Pick up your toys right now or they’re all going into the garbage!!!” can be changed to:  “I need you to pick up your toys before you watch your program.  I can help.  Do you want to pick up the lego or the cars?”  “Get into the car right now!!!” can be changed to:  “We need to go out in the car now.  What toy do you want to bring with you?”  When attempting to get your child to pick up toys, without raising your voice you can try saying:  “As soon as you’ve put your train set away, I’ll know you’re ready for your snack.”  Also, a “no!” response to a child can often be turned into a “yes”.  “Can I have a cookie?”  Instead of saying no you can say:  “Yes, as soon as we get home, or as soon as you’ve finished your lunch, or later this afternoon…”  Nagging and lecturing as a way to engage a child is almost guaranteed to evoke a defiant response.  It’s seen as a form of attack which makes us all; young and old respond defensively.

 Children will learn to respect us more when we show respect towards them.  They also learn how to show respect towards others.  Do you sometimes hear yourself when overhearing your child playing with another child?  I’ve often heard parents say:  “Oh my gosh!  She sounds just like me!”  Often times, we don’t like what we hear but we can choose to use what we hear out of our of children’s mouths as an opportunity to make some positive changes to our parenting.  Children are great mimics.  If we want them to treat others respectfully, we first of all have to model respect. 

By no means does this mean allowing them to do as they please or condoning unacceptable behavior.  They need strongly defined limits but within those limits we need to allow them to make acceptable choices.  Strongly defined limits means establishing simple, enforceable rules, deciding on appropriate consequences for misbehaviors and following through, and being consistent. 

So? What do you think?

Shimajiro’s Potty Adventures, Episode #1 … and #2s!

Thanks to Channel 10’s  Friday Night Download for this one. This is a real educational video used by Japanese parents toilet-training their kids.

WARNING: It’s a little gross.

Japanese anime used for practical purposes. Well done, pantsaman-san!

Now that’s Anal Retentive!

Got Teenagers? Need Commandments…

According to Busy Mom, these rules of engagement with teenagers will enable you to avoid their wrathful vengeance. That’s a good thing for any parent of adolescents. Here’s the first 3; for the rest you’ll have to travel over to the orginal post and view the stone tablets for yourself…

1. Thou shalt not make any small talk with random strangers in line at the grocery, for this shall affect the teen’s reputation in a negative way.

2. Remember thou art for transportation and money purposes only. Any other attempts at relevancy shall affect the teen’s reputation in a negative way.

3. Thou shalt not attempt to engage guest teens riding in thou’s vehicle in either verbal or eye contact, yet, thou shall neither be totally quiet in said vehicle, either, for thou shall be deemed “weird”, and, this shall affect the teen’s reputation in a negative way.

Wednesday’s What’s Worse IV

Ok, Wednesday hits Australia earlier than most places in the world and I’m getting this topic up as early as I can, because I am a passionate non-fan of both of the animals below. Yet I’m still having trouble deciding …

What’s worse?

Small yappy dogs?

or cats?

Tough choice I know. Can you help me decide?

***

NEWS FLASH: Voting is starting again for Hottest Daddy Blogger @ Blogger’s Choice and I’d love your vote! You don’t have to agree that I look hot, just that I write hot … er, or something… er…

So remember on Blog Election Day, vote Freaked!

Please?

Homer – what a Role Model!

Games for Car Trips

Long trips. In the car. With the kids. Hot day. Sound like fun? No? Well, my friend, you need some games.

Rich emailed me this awesome list of car games recently. Click the link for the full list.

Here’s just one of them:

String Figures: You wouldn’t think a simple piece of string could keep a kid entertained for hours, but in some cases it can. Pack a piece of string or yarn tied into a circle for your child and challenge them to learn to make string shapes like Jacob’s Ladder, Kitty Whiskers or to play Cat’s Cradle. If you don’t know much about string games, you can check out a book from the library or print out some instructions from a string game website.

Man & Wife

Ten years ago I went to a “Manhood” seminar. Maybe I was hoping to buy some from the merchandise tables or something, I dunno.

Anyhow, I distinctly remember something the keynote speaker Ed Cole said. I’ve heard it repeated by other writers many times, including Biddulph.

“When a man acts like a child, it makes his wife act like his mother … and you can’t make love to your mother.”

Mothers correct their children and make decisions for them. When we males put our partners in the position of needing to do this – when we “underfunction” – we place them in an anxious position, we place pressure on them to overfunction, to nag, to parent.

And then wonder why they don’t feel all amorous toward us.

Where do you draw the line between immature and mature, between boy and man?

Wednesday’s What’s Worse? III

Today, I’m thinking of pot-holed plots, bizarre or wooden performances, and of course, just plain bad directing (direction?). So with a choice of the following movies, what’s worse?

• The Lake House

• The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen

• Bean
• Junior (what was DeVito thinking??)
• Lost in Space
• Star Trek: Generations
• Batman & Robin
• True Crime (did Eastwood make two movies and stick them together with gum?)

• Any of the Spy Kids movies

Tough choice I know. My vote’s with the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen with Lake House a very close 2nd (was Kianu’s onscreen brother supposed to be lobotomised??)

How about you?

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