On the 4th Day of Christmas: Christmas Lies?
December 15, 2007
Filed under Distractions, Parenting & Family Posts
Poor little guy …
I’ve written before against the evils of Santa Claus…
Actually that’s not true. I just made fun of him. Much to the (very mild) disgust of Hula Doula (who remains a good buddy and has forgiven me for being a curmudgeon).
So I didn’t really write that Santa Claus is a dubious myth…
But someone else has. Dawn Fry’s article is worth a look-see. And while “You Better Not Lie” is a little extreme, it does make at least one interesting point, one that I actually am inclined to agree with.
When children finally figure out for themselves (or their parents confess) that Santa is make-believe it can feel like a huge betrayal. People that they trust the most have been telling them that Santa is real.
Some adults think that it is okay to lie to children when it is for their own good. That may be true in some cases but where is the good of a short-term fantasy that damages a child’s core sense of trust?
Hmmm, now I know many of you will be horribly upset with the writer … and by association – ME! And I repeat that I think that Dawn is overstating it, but she raises a good question about the boundary between fantasy and lies.
I’ve never been one to just swallow what the dominant culture tells me is true or to follow what it says to do without examining it for myself.
And I’ve always wondered why we insist on children believing this particular myth, and why many of us get so anxious and angry when someone else threatens to burst the Santa bubble ["How could you tell my 9 year old son there's no Santa?!? You beast!!"].
For my part, I really don’t care whether someone tells their children there’s a Santa Claus or not. Our choice has always been not. And this is partly because we wanted our kids to trust us and partly - as my wife puts it - “We don’t want someone else to get the credit for the cool presents we give our kids!”
So how do you feel about this?
Do you think I’m some kind of bah-humbug-scrooge-beast for not perpetrating spreading a wonderful magical joyous story?
Or do I have a point, and do you also tell your kids “There ain’t no Santa, so ya better keep me happy if you want them presents!”?
***
DISCLAIMER: Aldin children enjoy their Christmas. They get presents, have a tree and decorations, eat until their stomachs threaten to burst [and the food additives send them scaling walls that would challenge Spiderman], and find ways to do good deeds to others.
Well. Well. He started it!!!! He found out about Santa at creche, so it’s not my fault!
LOL
We do the Santa thing. Its fun – but gotta agree with Mrs A about the cool gifts thing.
We’ve changed it a bit – we give them the cool stuff, and Santa gives them undies …. mwahahahahahahahahaha *evil laugh*
Man, that’s gotta suck. Do they ever go up to the store Santa and say “And don’t give me undypants this year!”?
See our blog
You are a real bah-humbug-scrooge-beast
I think betrayal is a very harsh word. In all of my dealings with children I have not yet, heard of one child mentioning the betrayal they’ve felt from learning Santa isn’t real. And who’s to say Santa isn’t real?
He is the emodiment of the spirit of giving. Think about this from a child’s perspective… Christmas is really about the gift of Jesus. It is about us celebrating the fact that God became man to save man. The act of giving presents is supposed to be our way of remembering and celebrating that awesome gift. As an adult I can understand this, but it’s a difficult concept for a child to understand. It is much easier to understand Santa. Santa is good, and what does he do? He gives. Kids want to be good too, so they learn from him and they learn to give. When they get old enough to doubt Santa’s existence they are also getting old enough to understand the gift of Jesus.
My son will be told ab out Santa. Ho, ho, ho!
I agree with you that “betrayal” (her word not mine) is a little extreme. I think the worst it would be is disappointment.
Thanks for nailing your colors to the mast, Jonathan. We’ve enjoyed letting our boys know the story (however accurate or inaccurate it may be – who knows!) of the orginal Santa: Nicholas of Wherever-it-was who gave of his own riches to less-fortunates and embodied the grace of God which was in action at Christmas (and Easter!). They love this story.
In fact, we’re aiming to do some kind of random act of kindness on Christmas Day as modeled by Saint Nick.
By the way, did you know that in Australia there is currently a move to ban store santas from saying “Ho ho ho!” because in LA (which I believe is not actaully in Australia) “ho” means “whore”.
?!
Now THAT’S true bah-humbug-scrooge-beast thinking!
Pete, in answer to your question earlier – my kids live in the now. Right now, Santa has lollies and says yes to everything they want!
I also believe LA is not in Australia. Totally agree on teh bah-humbug-scrroge-beast thinking, or that whoever that person is needs to get out more often!!!!
I think it;s the same person who wanted to rename fairy penguins as little penguins so as to not offend gay people… to which all the gay people I know (well, all 3 of them) said “Wha-?”
Ah, that’s what I love. The PC Crusaders – doing the best for everyone else, without actually asking what the people being “affected” or potentially “offended” think.
I also need to ask that (not knowing the full story) if a woman was offended by Santa saying “Ho, ho, ho” to her, what does she have to feel paranoid about?
PAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
lol!
Wink wink nudge nudge, say no more!
I weep for the people that are constantly looking for some reason to take offense.
On a different note. I did some recent research on the Christmas tree for my school paper. I learned of quite a few traditions that could have helped to start it, but the most plausible start of the Christmas tree tradition stems from the passion plays of the middle ages.
Apparently one of the most popular plays took place on Dec. 24th and had to do with the story of Adam and Eve. On the stage, there was a tree that was supposed to represent the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil and was supposed to be an apple tree, but because it was winter in England, they used a Fir tree and decorated it with apples. On the 25th, the would do a second play reenacting the birth of Jesus. During the play they often hung wafers and placed sweet breads and such under the tree for the children.
Thus, we have the fir tree, the decorating of it, and the leaving of presents on it.
How cool is that? Jonathan that actually makes sense.And yes, we have a tree and yes there are presents under it. But we don’t have sweet breads…
… mmmm sweet breads….