Get ready for this site to evolve upwards over the next 12 months, dear readers. The more time I spend in this space, the more passionate I become about fatherhood. I’m dialoguing with local government and existing mens’ programs/organisations where I live to introduce some opportunities for men to “workshop” their parenting, to retool for the next part of that challenge, to meet with other dads for a season to buddy-up and encourage each other to keep kicking toward the goalposts.

And I’ll be expanding the scope and impact of this website too…

Why? Simply because I am totally convinced the role of Father is essential to the health of a society, let alone that of a family, let alone that of a child.

Many men (not all of course) just don’t know how to bring their best to the role of parenting, how to bring their strengths to it. They feel highly competent in a work setting, but they come back into the home and feel like they can’t make headway.

And understandably, they HATE IT! [Man, I hate going into any situation which makes me feel inept. I avoid those situations like the plague.] 

So, feeling this way, they tend to either “overfunction” (e.g. micromanage) or “underfunction” (e.g. withdraw)  and sadly don’t actually achieve the potential of the relationship they can have with their kids. They really just need a little upskilling, and to know that this upskilling is quite normal for men, it doesn’t mean they’re weak or something. I mean, we upskill at work, we do it to get better at golf and tennis; why not upskill for the home?

Other men are giving parenthood their ALL, but they feel like they’re failing at it, or it’s not working somehow. Often all they need are some ideas and frameworks that will help them develop confidence in their own ability, and build on the awesome contribution they’ve already been making. Or they simply need buddies who are in it like them who can give them some perspective.

Also - and I’ve written about this before, as have many of us - men hear and see in the media that we are inept and that women are more important in bringing up children. We’re given role models like Homer Simpson, the Family Guy, Ray Barone and the failed fathers of the series LOST.

At other times, the stories we watch tell us that - no matter what we do-  our kids will grow up to hate or reject us anyway.

That’s kind of demotivating, discouraging. I want to say that those ideas and images are FALSE. They’re actually fiction. We don’t believe for instance that we really live in the matrix or that there WAS truly a galaxy far far away where Jedi and Sith battled for power. But we swallow these other messages as if they are true simply because they’re so prevaling and constant … and even entertaining.

I’m also here to say, Dad, you can do it. Give it your all, embrace the learning curve, and look after yourself in the midst of it all. Your kids need you.