Intentionality and Parenting
April 29, 2008
Filed under Parenting & Family Posts
Dads out there, if I’ve learned nothing else in my time, I’ve learned the following…
You can let life happen to you. You can let life happen to your kids. You can let events control your family, determine your actions, shape your thinking, take their own course and carry you or your kids with them.
Or ….
You can wrestle with life, negotiate with it, make a dent in your obstacles. You can shape events, you can surf them! You can determine your own actions and responses. You can set the wheels in motion. You can be creative and adapt. You can find another way forward. You can be engaged with your kids. You can be involved. You can grow. You can learn. You can be intentional, purposeful…
And you can teach your children to do the same.
Intention.
You can build a closer relationship with your kids.
Intention.
You can change the status quo if you don’t like it.
Intention.
You can create outcomes that fill you with pride, or at the very least make an effort that you can be proud of!
Intention.
Intention determines your results far more than the forces over which you have no control. Far more than your own demons or flaws.
What are your hopes for your children? What is your goal for your family? Who do you want to be, as a Father, as a Man?
Intentionality, creativity, purpose, perserverence. Man. These are your birthright … and they can be your legacy.
I really ought to be able to whip out exactly what my hopes and goals are as I have given much thought to this, but I’m still defining my intentions (Please do not mistake defining intentions with “The Secret” and intention manifestation…I don’t believe in that hullabaloo). Good article, Pete. Keep these coming.
Please mistake NOTHING I say for The Secret.
I liked this article I came across Debunking it: (it won’t let me post the address, so I’ve had to delete it in this comment).
It makes points such as “Everyone quoted in The Secret has something to sell, not to teach”. And makes the point which is obvious when you really dig deep into these kinds of rehashed pop mystic theories, that if the Law of Attraction is true, then victims of child abuse are themsleves to blame for it for attracting it - which is a horrendous and nonsensical thought.
And lets face it, if you’re a fan of the 70s British sitcom Some Mothers Do ‘Ave Em, no amount of positive thinking made Frank Spencer get better “every day in every way”.
So once and for all, colors nailed to the mast: I ain’t preaching The Secret.
Having ranted a little, let me say in the time I’ve known you, I have found you to be a man of (great) intention. I sometimes blog like this to remind myself of what I’m doing and why. It’s good to update and revisit these intentions and stay with them since raising kids is not a quick job, but happens over a couple of decades.
Be interested in you posting on what some of those hopes and goals are. Might be good for you and us both. Cheers!
Pete, I just re-read my comment. I hope you didn’t think I was warning you about intention manifestation and the “Law of Attraction” (quotes were placed with a snide, satirical voice echoing the words in my head). Your article was really good and does not in any way echo that hocus-pocus.
I read some other blogs (though I don’t comment) and a couple of them seem way to preoccupied with the idea and any discussion based on intentions seems to revolve around the “Law of Attraction”. I was just trying to make int clear that I was not referring to the idea.
No probs, I posted a long comment denouncing the Secret but can’t get it to post. Maybe I “attracted” some voodoo.
Seems we both agree on the Secret. I posted a rather lengthy article back in April of last year debunking it. (Back when I had time to blog). Interesting that one of the points I also made was that victims of child abuse would have to have brought on the negativity themselves. Glad to see others saw the same thing.