Garfield without Garfield?

One of the wonderful things about the internet is that people with way too much time on their hands have a way to share their whacky musings with the rest of us.

I cite a site called garfield minus garfield  where the basic premis is this:

Who would have guessed that when you remove Garfield from the Garfield comic strips, the result is an even better comic about schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, and the empty desperation of modern life? Friends, meet Jon Arbuckle. Let’s laugh and learn with him on a journey deep into the tortured mind of an isolated young everyman as he fights a losing battle against loneliness in a quiet American suburb.

I’m grateful to Logical Emotions for alerting me to this one! There’s something about the allusions to mental illness coupled with the sheer randomness of the results of removing Garfield from the frames that works for me. Maybe that says a lot about my mental state, I dunno…

Here’s a taste…

and my favourite:

Aussie ABCs: U-W

U
Uni : university
Unit : flat, apartment
Up oneself: to have a high opinion of oneself – “he’s really up himself”
Useful as an ashtray on a motorbike: unhelpful or incompetent person or thing – “he, she or it is about as useful as …” etc. etc.
Ute : utility vehicle, pickup truck

V
Vedgies : vegetables
Vee dub : Volkswagen
Veg [vej] out : relax in front of the TV (like a vegetable)

W
Waggin’ school : playing truant
Walkabout : a walk in the Outback by Aborigines that lasts for an indefinite amount of time
Walkabout, it’s gone : it’s lost, can’t be found
Weekend warrior : army reservist
Whacker, whacka: Idiot; somebody who talks drivel; somebody with whom you have little patience
Whinge : complain
Whiteant (verb) : to criticise something to deter somebody from buying it. A car dealer might whiteant another dealer’s cars or a real estate salesman might whiteant another agent’s property
Wobbly : excitable behaviour (”I complained about the food and the waiter threw a wobbly”)
Wog : flu or trivial illness
Woop Woop : invented name for any small unimportant town – “he lives in Woop Woop”
Wowser : straight-laced person, prude, puritan, spoilsport
Wuss : coward; nervous person or animal

Adam Hills

Strategies to Deal with Bullying

Just read a good piece written by the Mayo Clinic. Last year we had a bullying issue at school, that raised its ugly head again this year. (No details. No names. No need). Many of you have known the pain and frustration of discovering that your child has been bullied: whether through violence, exclusion or cyberbullying. Here’s the parts of the article I found most helpful…

What to do if your child faces bullying

If your child is being bullied, assess the situation quickly and calmly, gather information and take action. Children need to know that you take the situation seriously and will help stop bullying.

Here are steps you can take if your child is bullied:

• Encourage your child to talk about the bullying.
• Listen in a loving manner.
• Don’t let your child see that you’re upset, which can make the situation worse. (I screwed this one up. Don’t know that it made it worse actually; I think the way I handled it gave him confidence and reassurance. But I agree that too much anxiety on the part of the parent just inflames the anxiety of the child)
• Tell your child that he or she isn’t to blame for being bullied. Don’t assume that your child did something to provoke or aggravate a school bully. A bully often picks on someone for no reason at all.
• Support your child’s feelings. Instead of dismissing their concerns or simply telling him or her that it’ll work out eventually, express understanding and concern, such as saying, “I understand you’re having a rough time. Let’s work together to deal with this.”
• Ask your child if he or she has ideas about how to stop the bullying.
• Don’t encourage retaliation against a bully.
  Teach your child safety skills when bullying occurs. This may include knowing where to turn for immediate help, how to be assertive, using humor to defuse a situation and appropriate diplomacy skills, such as agreeing with taunts that an item of clothing is ugly, for instance.
• Consider professional or school counseling for your child if fear or anxiety becomes overwhelming.
• Gather as much information as possible about the bullying. Ask your child to describe how and when the bullying occurs and who is involved. Ask you child if other children or adults have witnessed any bullying incidents.
• Talk to your child’s educators, including teachers and principals. Work together to find real solutions now. Don’t contact the bully’s parents yourself. Let the school handle that potentially sensitive situation.
• If your child has been physically attacked or is threatened with harm, talk to school officials immediately to help determine if police should be involved.

Teach your child skills to handle bullying

Teach your child how to handle and cope with bullying, with your help. This can also include teaching your child about resilience, or skills to endure difficult times. Here is what you can teach a child who is being bullied:

• Don’t react to the bullying. Bullies may give up if they don’t get attention.
• Don’t fight back.
• Try role-playing or practice what you’ll say to a bully, such as, “I want you to stop now.” (This worked extremely well for us with the issue last year)
• Show confidence with your head held high.
• Stick with a friend while on the bus, in the cafeteria, between classes, or while walking to and from school.
• Talk to an adult. Parents, teachers, principals and guidance counselors can help you stop the bullying.
• Try to meet classmates who are friendly and supportive and who will include you in their activities.

For more go here…

Fear of a Blank Planet – Porcupine Tree

Found it. Was confronted by it. Embedded it.

Making the Most of Murphy’s Law

So I’m driving home at the end of the second day of a week-long training course. I’m tired, I’m hungry, I have a long trip cross-town ahead of me. I grip the wheel in fists of steel! I concentrate on traffic conditions, trying to pick the best lanes to move to at the best times, calling on the Force to guide me.

And still I get every red light between the venue and my house. Long trip!

The next night, I decide I’ll make the most of the journey. It’s still light enough to read, so I pull out a training plan I’m working on and put it on the seat beside me, ready to chip away at it every time I have to stop at traffic lights. My mind is focussed on what I can write down and about ten minutes into the trip, I’m keenly anticipating the next red light so that I can get to work.

Do you know how many red lights I got that night? None.

That’s right: zilch, zip, nada, nil.

And that’s when I had the thought that changed my life.

Now if I was smarter than I am, I would save this thought, build up a whole lot of hype around it, give it a name like – oh say, The Secret – and put out an expensive video and hardback book to make as much money from it as I could.

But here I am giving it to you. The greatest time-saving tip you will ever receive. And it’s free!

Are you ready? Here’s the thought I had:

“Whenever you want a red light, you can’t get one!”

I hope you understand the magnitude of this discovery. It’s a form of Murphy’s Law turned inside out and applied in the positive. I was in awe of my own discovery and yet, slightly suspicious:

“It can’t be this easy to get green lights all the way home!”

So I tried it out over 6 weeks. Each time I decided I would do something at the lights, something I couldn’t legally or practically do while steering a moving vehicle, I got only green lights. Sometimes I would have to slow slightly because of the poor sods in the cars in front who HAD caught the red light. But I’d never have to stop and I was barely inconvenienced by this. I urge you to try this.

Remember I’m not recommending that you write while you’re driving. The point is that you try to do something at the lights. So before you start the car…

• take the book you’re reading and place the chapter you’re up to open on the seat next to you
• open a tub of yoghurt, stick in a spoon and place it in your cup-holder
• get some forms ready to fill in
• place the draft of the document you’re writing on the seat beside you …

…and start your engines. It works!

When we use this principle, we are making Murphy’s Law work for us.

In the same way, scientists have used many Laws in their own favour. They have found ways to make the Law of Aerodynamics overcome the Law of Gravity. Scientists use the Law of Gravity to help space-probes slingshot around planets, adding propulsion and helping to steer them.

In the family and in the workplace, there’s another Law we can make work in our favour. It’s called the Law of Respect. It goes a little something like this:

there are billions of people on the planet

you are one of them

they’re all as valuable as you

This law appears in the teachings of great thinkers from Jesus (Do unto others as you would have them do unto you) to Dale Carnegie (it runs right through his classic How to Win Friends and Influence People).

But ironically, although it’s about humility and empathy, this Law can work for you and I. Here’s just one way:

• Listen carefully to another person’s ideas and perspectives today.

• Suspend your own judgement about the topic of conversation

• Ask questions to understand them better and to draw them out

• Finish the conversation by recapping on what they’ve said and affirming them (sincerely) on their thinking, or their values, or something specific they said.

Then notice their response. I bet you there is a sudden increase in rapport between you, a smile on their face and gratitude (for the respect you’ve shown them) in their words. Chances are they will even ask you your opinion and listen in the same spirit as you have. Most of the time when you do this, you will either make a friend or strengthen an existing relationship.

Try it out. Go on…

(And by the way: safe driving!)

[and if this post looks familiar, it's because it once appeared at Great Circle about 2 years ago, then got deleted when I"refined" the content over there... But the poor post deserves to live, dammit!]

I Pity the Fool Who Won’t Watch This Show!

We’re just wrapping up mid-year school holidays here and I took most of it off to stay home with the kids. But winter means most of your activities are indoor ones and let’s face it, in an age where kids aren’t all that fond of board and card games, your choices are bickering, DVDs or video games. I lean toward the middle one.

So if we’re going to watch DVDs and heaps of them, which ones?

What to watch what to watch? … I’m cruising the local Video Store aisles trying to find an armload of titles that will appeal to both me and the boys. And then I see it: the unlikely pairing of George Peppard and Mr T on the cover. A blast from my past:

The A-team!

I remember it fondly. (I remember blacking-up to don a BA Barracus constume and turning up at a gathering of friends at McDonalds with my toy gun shouting “Freeze suckas!”  – yes, I was a wierd teenager).

So. Now I’m back home, nervously loading the DVD after convincing one of the boys to watch it with me. Will it be as good as I remember? Or will it be like that time I got all excited about watching the 70s version of King Kong and could barely finish watching it myself?

…and I am pleasantly surprised. Youngest Son (8) loves it. There’s fist fights, machine guns, helicopters and  spectacular car crashes (in fact the exact same car crash in literally every single episode – I kid you not).

And no blood (hey, when your kids’ video games are awash with it, that’s a great thing).

And no deaths.

And no swearing (the harshest words said are fool, crud and sucker).

And those great larger-than-life characterisations I remember fondly. Especially good ol’ Baracus, a role tailor-made for Mr T who must have relished lines like:

“You better be givin’ us that first aid kit, fool, else you be usin’ it on ya-self!”

And Peppard as Hannibal Smith with cornball one-liners that still work like: 

“It’s always darkest just before it goes completely black.”

The verdict on The A-Team?

Loads of action. Funny lines. I’m enjoying it, the kids are enjoying it … I love it when a plan comes together!

 

And just for MichMolk, here’s the 4th member of the team…

Wednesday’s What’s Worse

Yes it’s back! The last one of these Wednesday’s What’s Worses was way back in December!!

It must be time for another one…

So, what’s worse?

Getting a song stuck in your head when it’s a song you don’t really like

or

When you have two lanes, a car in each both doing the exact same speed and you can’t pass

Tough choice I know.

Information Age Parenting

Connecting with Your Kids: The Anger Beast

Just saw The Incredible Hulk the other day and totally loved it! Oh, yeah. So did my boys. But in real life, if I want to maintain a cooperative, affectionate relationship with my children, I have to remember to keep dealing with my inner Hulk!

I love the metaphor in the Hulk comics, movies and even the old Bill Bixby series: Banner trying to control the anger beast, and the anger beast eventually getting to the point where it takes him over. I think it’s the major struggle for parents of both genders to keep rage locked away from hurting our kids. It’s a no-brainer to say how destructive anger can be when we express it inappropriately toward a child. There’s a huge difference between letting our kids know we’re serious with stern words, and treating them with hostility, acid criticism, cold withdrawal or acts of rage.

Children have no defence against a torrent of angry words, shame-messages and rough physical treatment; it goes straight into their soul and does damage. It alienates them. They will eventually develop coping mechanisms that probably won’t be healthy.

A process I’ve used for myself as a Dad and recommended to a number of other men where anger has manifested in potentially harmful ways, is managing it with a 3-step approach:

1. recognise (again) that rageful actions are ineffective and harmful
2. develop a strategy to manage your anger positively
3. learn and apply alternatives to your behaviour

I’ve read plenty of parenting material that tells us to not shout at our children or shame them into submission; but to respect them and use alternatives methods of managing their behaviour. This is good stuff. I read plenty about positive ways of modifying children’s behaviour. But what about the adult’s behaviour (step 2 above)? Who manages that? We even find ourselves using the first and third step above “on” our kids: “Don’t throw biscuits are your sister Johnny! Learn to use your words.” But if we don’t work through the second step with them, they’ll rarely make “using words” (or whatever the alternative is) a habit because it’s still anger that’s controlling them…

Back to us parents. What does the adult do with the emotions that they naturally feel? And if I can’t manage my own emotions and behaviour, what hope – and what right – do I have of managing another person’s?

Do you have any strategies that work for calming you down? Do you use Jack Nicolson’s goosfraba from Anger Management (I’m not embarrassed to say this actually works for me)? Do you practise deep breathing like Bruce Banner in the latest Hulk movie? Does it help you to have an outlet? Have you heard good tips on this matter?

For more on this, you might consider The Stressedout Parent’s Guide to a Happier Home-Life.

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