Just read a good piece written by the Mayo Clinic. Last year we had a bullying issue at school, that raised its ugly head again this year. (No details. No names. No need). Many of you have known the pain and frustration of discovering that your child has been bullied: whether through violence, exclusion or cyberbullying. Here’s the parts of the article I found most helpful…

What to do if your child faces bullying

If your child is being bullied, assess the situation quickly and calmly, gather information and take action. Children need to know that you take the situation seriously and will help stop bullying.

Here are steps you can take if your child is bullied:

• Encourage your child to talk about the bullying.
• Listen in a loving manner.
• Don’t let your child see that you’re upset, which can make the situation worse. (I screwed this one up. Don’t know that it made it worse actually; I think the way I handled it gave him confidence and reassurance. But I agree that too much anxiety on the part of the parent just inflames the anxiety of the child)
• Tell your child that he or she isn’t to blame for being bullied. Don’t assume that your child did something to provoke or aggravate a school bully. A bully often picks on someone for no reason at all.
• Support your child’s feelings. Instead of dismissing their concerns or simply telling him or her that it’ll work out eventually, express understanding and concern, such as saying, “I understand you’re having a rough time. Let’s work together to deal with this.”
• Ask your child if he or she has ideas about how to stop the bullying.
• Don’t encourage retaliation against a bully.
  Teach your child safety skills when bullying occurs. This may include knowing where to turn for immediate help, how to be assertive, using humor to defuse a situation and appropriate diplomacy skills, such as agreeing with taunts that an item of clothing is ugly, for instance.
• Consider professional or school counseling for your child if fear or anxiety becomes overwhelming.
• Gather as much information as possible about the bullying. Ask your child to describe how and when the bullying occurs and who is involved. Ask you child if other children or adults have witnessed any bullying incidents.
• Talk to your child’s educators, including teachers and principals. Work together to find real solutions now. Don’t contact the bully’s parents yourself. Let the school handle that potentially sensitive situation.
• If your child has been physically attacked or is threatened with harm, talk to school officials immediately to help determine if police should be involved.

Teach your child skills to handle bullying

Teach your child how to handle and cope with bullying, with your help. This can also include teaching your child about resilience, or skills to endure difficult times. Here is what you can teach a child who is being bullied:

• Don’t react to the bullying. Bullies may give up if they don’t get attention.
• Don’t fight back.
• Try role-playing or practice what you’ll say to a bully, such as, “I want you to stop now.” (This worked extremely well for us with the issue last year)
• Show confidence with your head held high.
• Stick with a friend while on the bus, in the cafeteria, between classes, or while walking to and from school.
• Talk to an adult. Parents, teachers, principals and guidance counselors can help you stop the bullying.
• Try to meet classmates who are friendly and supportive and who will include you in their activities.

For more go here…