I know a lot of guys feel awkward and dumb trying to talk to babies and toddlers. (Let’s face it: we often feel awkward talking to women, let alone little bundles of flesh who don’t talk back).
But I always kinda enjoyed talking to the kids when they were pre-language. I didn’t make gaga-googoo noises. I actually talked. I think it helped build the tremendous rapport I still feel with both boys from those first moments. And though they didn’t understand it when I asked them existentialist questions, or practised my Khmer (Cambodian) on them, or sang them the instructions off the wetwipes box to the tune of Sesame Street, they liked it.
I read this article today at Raising Children Network which gives some tips for talkin’ with the baby. They actually say I should have been making googoo-gaagaa noises instead of speaking normally but - eh! - my kids turned out ok.
I think.
Talking with your kids even from in the womb will build rapport and will also stimulate their intelligence. According to another article:
The more you chatter using words, the better their vocabulary and communication skills will become. “Babies under 12 months pick up the intonation and warmth in the voice and listen to the tune of your conversation,” says Professor Silva (professor of educational psychology at Oxford University). “And from one onwards, your child will be sensitive to the words.”
It might be hard to imagine that squirming non-verbal little urchin is actually taking something in, but give it a go, New Dad! Talk to em. And besides, as they grow older, you’ll never get that captive audience thing happening with them again…
11 responses so far ↓
MadCow // Aug 28, 2008 at 8:52 pm
I always struggled with the ‘baby talk’. I just don’t get it.
I’ve read studies re both - the baby talk and the normal talk. I believe kids like the Telly Tubbies coz of this talk.
Don’t sit well with me … so I also feel that if you feel like an idiot talking like that, the kids will pick up on that, and that can’t be good for anyone.
In hindsight, I now have a seven year old who knows words bigger than himself. At two he not only knew what ‘obstinate’ meant, but could say it.
I guess there’s pros and cons either way. But for me - I hate baby talk
Pete // Aug 28, 2008 at 8:59 pm
Geez you were quick, I only just posted this!
I hate to admit that I used to wander into my son’s room and say “Tellytubbies love each other very much” in that poncy English voice over voice … and (worse!) sang the theme song with both boys.
… “Obstinate”? In what context did he hear that?
MadCow // Aug 28, 2008 at 9:07 pm
I’m stalking you
I never watched the Telly Tubbies - I only heard they spoke like that, so it put me off them for life.
Um, as for context, well he was being obstinate, so I asked him to stop. Nicely of course
(He could also say ‘atherosclerosis’ at 4, and new his body parts using the correct Latin anatomical terminology at 3 - but he was helping me study :D)
Now, he just speaks Gordon Ramsay - but we’re working on that (to stop it obviously, not improve it!)
He was a very good speaker from very young - still not sure if its because I refused to baby talk to him, even in utero, or if he just is.
Pete // Aug 28, 2008 at 9:23 pm
Probably both. How cute to have a 7 year old Gordon Ramsey … or not …
jonathan // Aug 28, 2008 at 10:55 pm
About the closest I came to actual baby speak was dada and mama. The rest of the time is was the regular English language. I sang a lot to my son his first couple of years. Now, at two, he tells me, “Daddy stop it.” If I sing along with one his songs…sheesh what a critic.
Martin Welch // Aug 29, 2008 at 9:40 am
Nothing wrong with just talking normally in my book, surely it is that act of communicating and vocalising that is important, not the actual sounds you make?
Pete // Aug 29, 2008 at 10:45 am
Good comment, Martin, thanks.
Jonathan, so you won’t be entering American Idol?
Jo // Aug 29, 2008 at 10:46 am
I am not a fan of the baby talk. I speak to my kids normally and I think their language skills are better for it. At 2, our older girl had a vocab of around 200 words that she could say and understand. The other day (she’s now 3, btw) she used the word “disappeared” in context. Our younger one at 15 months can say “tickle” and understands what it means.
Jonathan, we have the same in our house with being told to stop singing. I have to say though, it usually happens to my husband. He’s not allowed to sing but I am. Catherine says, “Daddy, stop singing please!” It’s pretty funny
MadCow // Aug 29, 2008 at 4:13 pm
Haha - I just sing louder!
And then I start dancing. Really badly!
But, apparently, I’m the evilest mummy in the world!! Mwahahahahaha
DS1 - after too much watching Thomas, at the age of 3 had this cute little English accent that sounded just like Ringo Starr …. awwwwww!
It will be interesting to see the outcomes of these various studies in years to come .. late primary school, high school. Just be curious to see, if its ever followed up, what the outcomes are that far down the track.
michmolk // Sep 2, 2008 at 1:05 pm
I spoke to both my kids the same (no baby talk!) and my son didn’t talk clearly until he was about two but had great comprehension of complex directions. However, my little girl started talking early and can sing and say a few basic phrases at 16 months and will join in conversations with adults - she’s very bossy ;D
Pete // Sep 2, 2008 at 7:17 pm
A 3 year old Aussie speaking in a Liverpudlian accent. That’s fantastic!
Mich, yeah, I was a little surprised to read that article and get told that googoogaga is more beneficial to babies than normal speech. I figured either would be good but so far what I’m hearing is “Talk normally and your kids will have a great vocabulary and understand complex things.”
Lily sounds awesome! Which side of the gene pool does the bossiness come from?
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