Often enough, it can be hard to get kids into bed (can I hear an AMEN?). Then at other end of the day sometimes hard to get them out of it. Especially for school.
With Eldest Son, the rare occasions where he is reticient to get up and at ’em for a school day, the tactic is logic. Logic and empathy:
“I know you’re tired mate. You’ve had a busy week. But you’ve got forty minutes to get ready and we have to go.”
… well, it’s not logic really; more like this is your reality, live in it.
Youngest Son? - sheesh!! The above approach doesn’t work. Neither does true logic which would be something like “It’s a school day, you go to school on a school day, you have to get up and get ready to go to school, so you’ll be getting up now.” Neither do consequences: “Get up now or I’m cutting back your allowance!” ["Go for it," he'll think. "It's worth the extra sleep"]
The key with him is to get him talking. This requires more effort and creativity than Eldest Son (by a mile) but it works.
If I can ask him about a funny thing that might have happened yesterday, or ask him if Freddy will be at school today, or ask him who he hopes will win the football match this coming Saturday, or mention that I had a wierd dream and tell him about it … eventually, I’ll get boo out of him. The cognitive cogs begin turning and I can almost see those cogs raising the shutters, powering up the lights, engaging the gears that make his limbs move him out of the bed.
What works for you? And what doesn’t?
7 responses so far ↓
bryan // Sep 24, 2008 at 9:24 am
Super Soaker with Ice Water…
Katy // Sep 24, 2008 at 2:16 pm
I was thinking along the lines of bryan…but I do take a gentler approach now…
I blogged about it a while back, although seeing how your sons are, don’t know f it would work, but you can give it a try.
http://www.adventuresinparenting.org/2007/06/28/waking-up/
Karen Wallace // Sep 24, 2008 at 2:43 pm
It is a really big challenge, isn’t it? My youngest still wakes up bright and breezy (he’s my spot of sanity in an otherwise teenage twilight zone…) but the other two? Whatever works. Bryan’s approach is very attractive. As is a simple glass of water, or even cold, wet hands placed on an uncovered limb.
I once read a story about a mother who got so frustrated with her duaghter not getting up and dressed for school on time that she threatened to take the daughter to school at a specific time, no matter her state of readiness. Of course, daughter duly tested the threat. And this mother kept it! She dumped her child out of the car at the school gate in her pyjamas - tossing her a bag with her school clothes in it as she drove away.
Apparently from that moment on, the daughter got herself up and ready promptly every day.
It has always stuck in my mind that we cannot make empty threats. That if we threaten the super-soaker, we have to follow through…
MadCow // Sep 24, 2008 at 4:18 pm
Bugger the kids - I’m still trying to work out how I can get out of bed
And .. the Hubby - ARGH!!!
Pete // Sep 24, 2008 at 8:29 pm
@ Bryan: succinct and practical as always. Just gotta buy a rubber sheet…
@ Katy: ok, will try that. It’s a lovely idea. And he’ll either warm to it (forgive the pun, Katy) or he’ll throw it at me. Either way, he’s awake. Wise lady.
@ Karen: we actually did use the wet finger traced gently down one cheek idea for a while (because water is uncomfortable but not nasty). Stopped doing it when (on weekends) both boys started doing it to us with a cheeky giggle and a bolt for the door. (Love the tough love anecdotes)
@MC: lol!
jonathan // Sep 25, 2008 at 2:32 am
Natural consequences… can’t wake on time, must be too tired from the night before. So, if they don’t get up, then they will have to go to bed at an earlier time.
One that really worked for my stepdaughter, was telling her I’m not going to baby sit her anymore, if she’s not ready when it’s time to go, she can walk. She did walk…once. She’s quite opposed to exercise of that nature and hasn’t needed a reminder since.
MadCow // Sep 25, 2008 at 6:37 pm
I’ve done that too, Karen, the dropping them off in their jarmies - both kids, aged 3 at the time.
Probably scarred them for life, but I no longer have the issue
Even now, five years on, all I need to say to DS1 is “fine, go to school naked” - he knows I’m deadly serious MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA
(He also calls me the Evilist Mum in the World, and the Evilist Mum he knows - but he’s always dressed for school
:D :D)
Leave a Comment