Supporting Dad

Been skimming through a report called Fatherhood and Fatherlessness. Albeit 5 years old and often based on research that is now nearly a decade old, it had some worthwhile points to consider. Here’s two of the strategies that Michael Flood (research fellow with the Australia Institute) poses as vital to both promoting the positive role that fathers play in kids’ lives and empowering Dads to get in there and be present with those kids:

 

1. Establishing father-friendly workplace practices and cultures. “Employers, with governmental support, must create more flexible workplaces free of penalties for involved parents of either sex, and must promote equal economic opportunities for women” (because this makes way for mothers to work at higher pay grades lessening the pressure for Dads to still be main provider)
2. Supporting fathers through family and parenting services. No, actually supporting them.

About the first strategy: last week, I asked a fellow Dad what stopped him attending groups that supported parents with the particular challenges his child faced. He replied “They’re all during office hours”. That makes it pretty difficult for a working Dad to get involved.

I also wonder if it’s possible (and I fully understand the current economic climate) for more bosses who are Dads themselves to empower employees who are also Dads to have more flexibility around parenting issues. (I heard of one workplace where they had “Go home on time days”. I like that.)

 

About the 2^nd strategy: My experience over nearly 14 years of parenting (if I include the time my oldest son was gestating), is that things have been slanted toward mothers in the past. This is certainly understandable in most respects, because I don’t breastfeed and I don’t give birth. But occasionally service providers have made fathers feel irrelevant. I remember turning up to a parenting event – the only guy in the room – and being told “how nice; we have a Dad” in a most condescending fashion. I still don’t get why I wasn’t simply a “parent”. I’ve also been left out of communication about my kids presumably because of assumptions that Mum does all the parenting stuff. The report also sites the dearth of educational and other programs aimed at male parents.

 

Earlier this year, I went to local government to enquire about a grant to set up an 8-week parenting course for Dads. “Great idea!” the lady said, fully supportive of what I was proposing; “I’ll get you to talk to Jenny … oh. She deals with males under 25. No, I’ll get Wendy to call you … oh. She deals with males over 55 … actually we don’t have any department that serves men between those ages.” The light dawned for her that though there was an awareness of the importance and even the needs of families with respect to male parents, there was no infrastructure around promoting and supporting those needs. (Eventually, I got the grant under a community health auspice).

I have to say though that – thank goodness – things are rapidly changing in these respects.

 

So there’s a couple of strategies and my off-the-cuff thoughts about them. What are your thoughts?