Wednesday’s What’s What

Recently Carole Dissendorp asked a bunch of facebook friends a question that I will shamelessly regift here.

WHAT WERE / ARE THE CHILDREN’S BOOKS MOST POPULAR AT YOUR HOUSE? 

My answer was:

1. Younger years: Mr Men and Dr Seuss
2. 7-10 y.o.: Roald Dahl and Winnie the Pooh (actually, I was the only one who enjoyed Pooh Bear, so let me change that to Narnia)
3. Pre-adolescent: Captain Underpants series, Diary of a Wimpy Kid series, and anything by Andy Griffiths 

And I’d happily read Captain Underpants any day.

How about you? What say you?

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Slightly related posts:

• Boys and Reading
• Wednesday’s What’s Worse?
• Wednesday’s What’s Worse IX

Pacify Me!

I do read parenting books, but usually they’re as tough to get through as my ex-pastor’s sermons. (And the boring or just plain unhelpful ones are not the ones I tend to review here.)

Not this one. Comedian Chris Mancini has pulled off an eminently readable tome on being a New Dad written in the conversational style of the guy who feels your pain, your bewilderment and your stress, rather than the guy with all the answers.

Why read it then, if he gives no answers? Well, it’s not that he doesn’t bury nuggets of valuable advice and information throughout the book. There’s actually quite a lot of them (and Chris seems quite surprised at times to find himself coming up with them!). It’s more that Chris seems to set out to normalize the anxiety and pressures that befall a guy from the moment his partner first says “I’m pregnant”. (Actually, he starts earlier than that, but I’ll let him tell that story).

He almost lost me on page 3 when he dissed life coaches, but I’m bigger than that.

What follows is my 8 point summary of the book from where I sit. I do need to mention (because I’m aware that my readers come from varied faith and cultural backgrounds), if you can’t look past plenty of sexual references and coarse language, you won’t enjoy it. Anyway, here’s the summary:

1. Chris makes the point it’s normal to be freaked out (hey that’s the title of my blog!). In fact I think this is possibly the most valuable aspect of Pacify Me, apart form the laughs: normalizing the feelings many men experience regarding new baby. His reasons for those feelings include the feeling of powerlessness, which is something us males don’t do well…
2. Loved Dante’s 9 Infernal Circles of Babies ‘R’ Us…
3. The battle over having or not having the mother-in-law present for the birth. Well fought, valiant Chris.
4. The chapter on crying (the baby’s not Chris’) is one of the best summaries on causes/options that I’ve seen. What some books might spend 20 or 40 pages to cover, Chris nails in 5.
5. I enjoyed the constant pop culture references: Python, Star Wars, Dr Seuss. These make much more sense to me than references to the latest academic study in … whatever.
6. The trials and tribulations of finding a good daycare.
7. I also liked Chris’ authentic and growing relationship with his daughter.
8. Finally, men, you can read the back half of Chris’ book and feel like you know what you’re talking about when your wife or the mother-in-law wants to discuss (for example) what the baby should be fed as it grows older. I like knowing what I’m talking about (or at least sounding like I do).

 A good read that will help New Dads keep perspective and maintain a shred of sanity.

Kool & Unusual

With Christmas fast approaching, it’s always a challenge to come up with new gifts that bring oohs and ahs from the mouths of your children, nieces and nephews, rather than complaints.

Freakedout Fathers offers Kool & Unusual (gifts for kids), as part of an online shop for Dads.  This is the place where we’ve done the hardwork of trawling the marketplace for gifts that won’t break the budget but will still be a winner at Christmas and birthday times.

There you’ll find gifts like Flingshot Flying Monkey  (left) and The Amazing Nose Flute, as well as more substantial things such as the Monkey Business Surefire Compound Bow (above).

Why not check it out today?

The Dangerous Book for Boys, and more…

Written in the style of the “Boys Own” literature, this book has a nostalgic (1950s) feel to it. Reading it is like reading a very long “Annual” or magazine: you find yourself flicking through for the most intersting articles.

Many of the articles (or chapters – which range from one to ten pages long) simply weren’t interesting to me, or my boys. The subject choice is rather random, which means hit and miss. Some of the “misses” were Common British Trees and Making Crystals. Australian, South African and New Zealand readers will be as irritated by all the Northern Hemisphere astronomy, geography and sporting references as I was.

Having said this, there were many chapters that were interesting and quite a few that I found very helpful.

The interesting ones included:

• Making a paper water bomb
• Making tripwires and pressure plates (SO many applications for this)
• Famous battles, 12 of them (including the Alamo and the battle that the Spartan movie 300 is based on)
• A Brief History of Artillery (what boy doesn’t like pictures of Trebuchets and cannons?)

The helpful ones included:

• Rules for Chess (this settled any disputes Oldest Son and I have over how to play)
• Pen & Paper games (I’ve been trying to remember some of these from my own childhood and now they’re back! A nice alternative to the Nintendo Wii)
• Table Football (ditto; I had forgotten this game but the tournament in the Aldin household begins in earnest tomorrow)

And here’s the real test: while many of the chapters don’t grab my boys at all, when I first got the book, it fell open to the page on paper airplanes and Youngest Son was all over that, with great enthusiasm. (I even made my first paper plane that actually worked!) Then Oldest Son grabbed it and read the section on Codes and Cyphers.

I reckon the chief value of this book was to introduce stories and activities that add diversity to my kids’ love of Video games and CGI movies. Its secondary value was in being a resource more reliable than Wikipedia the lads can to turn to for school projects (& I can turn to for help on rainy holidays).

Finally, my very favourite quote from the book(in the chapter Advice About Girls): “Avoid being vulgar. Excitable bouts of windbreaking will not endear you to a girl.”

[To which my response is: "Yeah, but what can you do?"]

(I found out that you can even download a 14 page excerpt of the book to see if it’s for you.)

***

While I’m in a reviewing mood, 3 (of my favourite) older movies that my 11 year old has enjoyed and 3 that he thought sucked eggs:

Cool:

1. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (go figure!)
2. The Karate Kid
3. The first live action Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie.

Suck:

1. King Kong (the 1976 version – and he has a point)
2. The original Planet of the Apes (1969)
3. Superman (Christopher Reeves style)

Don’t bother trotting the last 3 out with hopes that the kids will like them…

On the 3rd Day of Christmas… WIERD GIFTS!

Well, maybe this is not the right one to follow up yesterday’s post about the Church of Stop Shopping anti-consumerism movement. Still I got a chuckle out of finding this stuff, if not buying it…

 If you’re starting your wish list now, these are genuine products available to put under your tree…

Mmm, toilet lollies…

***

Nerd toys! (”Amazing push-button shushing action!” oooo!)

***

Just in case you’re missing school on your holiday, young one. [Me? I'm feeling queasy.]

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Why not?

***

Because all children dream of having OCD! I know I did…

The Dangerous Book for Boys (+ a couple o’ Movie reviews)

Written in the style of the “Boys Own” literature, this book has a nostalgic (1950s) feel to it. Reading it is like reading a very long “Annual” or magazine: you find yourself flicking through for the most intersting articles.

Many of the articles (or chapters – which range from one to ten pages long) simply weren’t interesting to me, or my boys. The subject choice is rather random, which means hit and miss. Some of the “misses” were Common British Trees and Making Crystals. Australian, South African and New Zealand readers will be as irritated by all the Northern Hemisphere astronomy, geography and sporting references as I was.

Having said this, there were many chapters that were interesting and quite a few that I found very helpful.

The interesting ones included:

• Making a paper water bomb
• Making tripwires and pressure plates (SO many applications for this)
• Famous battles, 12 of them (including the Alamo and the battle that the Spartan movie 300 is based on)
• A Brief History of Artillery (what boy doesn’t like pictures of Trebuchets and cannons?)

The helpful ones included:

• Rules for Chess (this settled any disputes Oldest Son and I have over how to play)
• Pen & Paper games (I’ve been trying to remember some of these from my own childhood and now they’re back! A nice alternative to the Nintendo Wii)
• Table Football (ditto; I had forgotten this game but the tournament in the Aldin household begins in earnest tomorrow)

And here’s the real test: while many of the chapters don’t grab my boys at all, when I first got the book, it fell open to the page on paper airplanes and Youngest Son was all over that, with great enthusiasm. (I even made my first paper plane that actually worked!) Then Oldest Son grabbed it and read the section on Codes and Cyphers.

I reckon the chief value of this book was to introduce stories and activities that add diversity to my kids’ love of Video games and CGI movies. Its secondary value was in being a resource more reliable than Wikipedia the lads can to turn to for school projects (& I can turn to for help on rainy holidays).

Finally, my very favourite quote from the book(in the chapter Advice About Girls): “Avoid being vulgar. Excitable bouts of windbreaking will not endear you to a girl.”

[To which my response is: "Yeah, but what can you do?"]

(I found out that you can even download a 14 page excerpt of the book to see if it’s for you.)

***

While I’m in a reviewing mood, 3 (of my favourite) older movies that my 11 year old has enjoyed and 3 that he thought sucked eggs:

Cool:

1. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (go figure!)
2. The Karate Kid
3. The first live action Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie.

Suck:

1. King Kong (the 1976 version – and he has a point)
2. The original Planet of the Apes (1969)
3. Superman (Christopher Reeves style)

Don’t bother trotting the last 3 out with hopes that the kids will like them…

What Would MacGyver Do?

Gotta love MacGyver. I’ve gotten a lot of mileage out of his exploits in my public speaking over the years. But I’ve just now discovered (what maybe some of you already know) a book called What Would MacGyver Do?
[Here we see MacGyver carrying a Smart Bomb he's just thrown together from a gameboy circuit board, toy airplane parts and a giant novelty pacifier]

Back to the book. Want a sample of the wisdom contained therein? Read on …

Problem: It’s 2 A.M. and you’re out of Luvs

Fast fix: A do-it-yourself diaper, courtesy of Gary Greenberg, author of Be Prepared: A Practical Handbook for New Dads. Place a clean sweat sock lengthwise down the center of a clean dish towel and fold the top and bottom of the towel over it to create a square. Lay your baby on top and fold the towel between his legs so it rests on his tummy. Tuck the front corners inside the back corners and secure them with duct tape. Not too tight, now. Tip: Duct tape on the baby’s skin results in bloodcurdling screams.

Problem: It’s 3 A.M. and she’s still crying

Fast fix: Unscrew the antenna from a portable radio, switch to AM, and find a spot between stations that emits static. This “white noise” mimics the muffled sounds the baby heard in the womb. One recent study found that babies listening to white noise were three times more likely to fall asleep than those in quiet rooms. Running a blow-dryer or vacuum cleaner also works, but you have to stay up with it until she falls asleep. Better idea: Go to beprepared.net and download a free 5-minute recording of white noise. Burn it onto a CD and set your player on repeat in the nursery.

Problem: You dread flying with kids

Fast fix: If you don’t want to buy a seat for your baby, you and your partner should reserve the window and aisle seats in the same row, leaving the middle seat open. Middle seats always fill up last. And even if someone ends up there, as soon as they see the baby, they’ll beg the flight attendant for reassignment, says Greenberg. If you have toddlers, choose the bulkhead rows, which offer the most legroom and a wall they can bounce their toys off, or seats in the back of the plane near the toilets, whose knobs and buttons provide some diversion.

Problem: They won’t stop whining

Fast fix: Pretend you can’t understand them when they do. They whine because they want, say, the cotton candy or the laser light sword. If you just look at them and say, “Sorry, I can’t understand what you’re asking for.” They’ll get frustrated and quit. If they persist, see “Meltdown” below.

Problem: Meltdown in aisle 7 at Toys R Us

Fast fix: To combat a full-blown tantrum, follow this three-step sequence from Nanny Deb of Fox’s Nanny 911: (1) Bend down to the child’s level instead of towering over. (2) Make eye contact. (3) In a low voice, tell him or her to breathe and calm down. This models the behavior you want. But you can often avoid tantrums by preparing your kids for trips to the store. “Tell them beforehand exactly what you are going there for and exactly what’s going to happen,” says Deb. “If nothing works, try a time-out in a quiet part of the store to help the child regroup; one minute for every year of age.”

Problem: The kids want to play; you want to read the sports section

Fast fix: Play 52 Pickup (works best with kids under 3). Take a deck of playing cards and bend the deck between your thumb and first two fingers until the cards spring up, out, and all over the floor. This delights the tykes to no end. “Do it again, Daddy,” they’ll squeal. Instruct them to collect the cards and match the suits. This should take 10 minutes. Repeat.

Problem: She’s been stung by a bee

Fast fix: If the stinger is in the skin, gently scrape it out with the edge of a credit card. Pulling the stinger with tweezers could squeeze the venom sac and release more venom. Clean the area with soap and water; then cool it with ice wrapped in a cloth for 10 to 30 minutes. A paste of baking soda and water applied to the area for 15 minutes will help relieve pain.

Problem: Your son’s penis is caught in his zipper

Fast fix: Set him in front of the TV and put on cartoons. That’ll take his mind off the wire snippers in your hand. First, try gently backing the zipper off the skin. Not working? Then use the wire snippers to carefully cut the zipper’s median bar (the little piece of metal that holds the front and back of the zipper clasp together). It will come undone.

Problem: Aunt Helen died and you have to tell your 6-year-old

Fast fix: Never say, “She’s sleeping.” “Kids are very literal at this age, and if you explain death as sleeping, they might develop a fear of going to bed at night,” says Debbie Glasser, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist and founder of NewsForParents.org. Kids already have some concept of death from TV and pet hamsters. “Be honest and reassuring,” says Glasser. “Gently explain that all living things die eventually and that you’ll miss Aunt Helen. Tell your child that you’re here to love and care for him.”

Problem: They ask the tough questions

Fast fix: Get wise, Pop. [I'd add, either answer them - Q. Dad, why do stars twinkle? A. They don't. The movement of warm and cold air in the sky bends the light from the stars in different directions, giving starlight a twinkling action - or distract them - Q. Daddy, why are those 2 men wanting to get married? A. Hey is that a Gummy Bear on the floor!? - Pete]

Problem: Twelve-year-old Annie wants to expose her midriff at the mall

Fast fix: “This is a difficult dance to dance,” says Glasser. The key is to lay down the law, be unyielding, but also respect your daughter’s individuality. Tell her that while you understand that she wants to choose her own look, your family has certain nonnegotiable values. You’d be happy to take her to the mall and shop for other clothes that work for her, but belly shirts are a no-go. “If you make your values clear without yelling and without demeaning your daughter, you’ll have a better chance of her accepting your decision,” explains Glasser.

For more, visit this MSN Message Board for 8 pages of homegrown tips from other Dads. Run out of nappies/diapers? Sick of your kids pushing the shopping trolley into other people and displays? Kid refusing to go to bed at bedtime? There’s an answer here for them all!

Ya gotta love a Man’s approach to parenting:

a) there’s a problem
b) fix it
c) get back to your life