Well, why didn’t you say so earlier!

Here’s the fallout from 2 Writers’ Carnivals which concluded in the last week or so.

1. What I Learned from…

• … Writing Online: It Does Make a Difference, by Rosa Say at Joyful Jubilant Learning
• … My Chaotic Life, by Gavin Heaton at Servant of Chaos
• … Seth Godin, by Bill Austin at Arizona High Tech Talent Partnership
• … Phil Mickelson at the Deutsche Bank Championship, by Herman Najoli at Epic Flow
• … (blank), by Patrizia Broghammer at VOIP
• … My Client’s Expectations, by Karin H. at The Kiss Business Too
• … What Have You Done So Far This Year, by Samara Leigh at Mindful Banter
• … Changing My Children’s School, by Pete Aldin at Freaked Out Fathers
• … Changing My Blog Template Every 15 Minutes, by Troy Worman at Orbit Now!
• … networking out of my comfort zone, by Joanna Young at Confident Writing
• … Mother Theresa, by Anna Lenardson at Anna’s Attic
• … Change…ing Majors, by Sam Brougher at Forest Azuaron
• … Change, by Bob Glaza at One Reader at a Time
• … not (quite) changing, by Jon Swanson at Levite Chronicles
• … 3 Things I Learned From Change, by Phil Gerbyshak at Slacker Manager
• … Phil Mickelson: Applications for Change, by Herman Najoli in a follow-up to his first post listed above at Epic Flow
• … Changing My Shopping Habits, by Laura Spencer at Writing Thoughts
• … Getting Up Early, by the Homeschool Diva at Homeschool Diva

and of course last, but hopefully not least –

• … Network Marketing, by Robert Hruzek at Middle Zone Musings

2. How the War was Won:

For about thirty years, fathers have been getting a bad reputation via fictional media.

From the self-centred incompetents Homer Simpson & Tim the Toolman to the evil fathers of John Lock (Lost) & Luke Skywalker (you know that black-armoured dude in the Star Wars films?)…

… to the just plain yobbos like Al Bundy, not to mention the missing fathers from about 20 years of Disney films (see Toy Story I & II, Treasure Planet, Lilo and Stitch, etc). These are the role models many of us have had to guide our own fathering by.

When you really take a look at the abundance of these Bad Dad characters (sorry Roland!), it seems Baby Boomer and Gen X screenwriters really have it in for the role of father.

And so the character of Jonathan Kent in Smallville (above) is/was a refreshing break with this ‘tradition’. Thoroughly engaged with his son (Clark), in love with his wife (Martha), putting his money where his mouth is, physically strong, acting on his values, holding his clearly-communicated values up to his son and holding Clark to keeping them, protective and wise, imperfect and wounded, charitable and willing to fight when necessary – he may be fictional but that’s the kind of character I can aspire to as a Dad.

And he marks a turn in the tide of father characters as movies like Barnyard revive the concept of the noble Dad, which gives me hope that maybe our generation can revive the practise of it…

And then there’s the story of “Team Hoyt“, one of whose videos I posted recently. Dick Hoyt embodies the qualitites of manhood and fatherhood that we all can aspire to

There’s no doubt that everyone suffers after separation, divorce or the death of a spouse. Over the last twenty years, I guess the Aussie government has begun to provide help for some of the women who have to pick up the pieces and move on while caring for kids. And the kids. Maybe.

But often men have become the villified ones (and let’s face it, there are a lot of recalcitrant and callous men out there who have sired children but take no real responsibility for them – but they’re not the majority)… and sometimes they can be the forgotten sufferers in these situations. Many support groups have risen up to attend to the needs of these men, but as the following excerpt from the latest Fatherhood Foundation newsletter points out, these groups are doing it as tough as some of the Dads themselves…

Tony Miller announced last week that ‘dads in distress’ (dids) will be forced to close its doors on 30th June 2007 unless they are able to receive further government funding. Such recurrent funding has been refused so far because dids important work does not fit into any government funding box at the present moment. This is hardly surprising considering the Howard government and previous Labor governments consistent ability to ignore the needs of the male of the species while pouring hundreds of millions of dollars and more likely billions of dollars into projects and benefits that only women can receive benefit from. It is good that the government helps women but why cannot they also help men? The ratio of government funding that is directed at women or mothers compared with men or fathers is somewhere between 300 to 1 or at best 100 to 1.

It is ironic that Mensline are funded over 2 million dollars per year and that they refer hundreds, possibly thousands of calls to dads in distress or Lone Fathers Association and neither operation is properly funded by the Howard government. You can find out about DIDS here. 

The foundation’s objectives are not to belittle or minimise the struggle of single mothers or the aftermath (financial, emotional etc) of divorce for women. They are:

• To promote, establish and nurture dids support groups throughout the country.
• To promote awareness throughout the community of the need for support for men going through the trauma of divorce, separation or relationship breakdown.
• To bring about solidarity amongst single dads to show them they are not alone and that there is life after divorce or separation.
• To raise the awareness of male suicide particularly relating to divorce or separation.
• To establish and promote a dids referral and drop – in centre in Coffs Harbour, NSW Australia.
• To establish and promote a dids retreat in each state, so that, Australia – wide men needing help and guidance can obtain it.
• Offer and encourage ongoing support to our members in the form of relevant courses, counseling, legal and medical advice.
• To lobby relevant organizations and government bodies to examine and make fairer changes to the Family Law Act.
• To encourage other organizations to investigate and develop programs, particularly relating to separation grief.

What else can we do apart from lobby our local members of government and make a donation to redress this imbalance. I have (I don’t say that to make myself a big deal, it was the very least I could do). Maybe you could add your voice to help single and divorced Dads where you live too.

Maybe you read more at Eric’s post about this and contact Tony Miller at Dadsindistress to encourage him.

Thanks for listening to my rant.