The Australian Communications and Media Authority is rejecting these calls for a ban. Apparently, the potential effects on their hip pocket are far scarier to them than the increasing rates of childhood obesity and the widespread behavioral problems amongst our kids and teenagers.

But maybe I’m just another cynical Gen X when I say things like that. I invite your response.

As the Sydney-Morning Herald article (the link above) points out:

The media authority needs to give considered responses to a few basic questions:

1. Does marketing work? If not, then they should let universities know so that it is no longer taught, and tell companies so they can lay off their expensive marketing departments.

2. Does marketing junk food to children increase their consumption of these foods? If not, then they need to tell food marketers not to waste their billions of marketing dollars targeting kids to do just that.

3. Does a high intake of calorie-laden food and beverages lead to unhealthy weight gain? If not, then scientists need to bury that particular mountain of evidence.

I think they’re great questions. Because an admission that marketing works is an admission that  marketing strongly affects kids’ appetites for junk food which in turn means that if junk food is bad for kids, the advertisers/producers feel fine about harming children to line their own pockets.

Now I don’t want to be a hypocrite here. I eat my share of bad food too. But I’m also fighting an uphill battle for my kids (though it feels like with my kids some times) for moderation, for their food pyramids to have junkfood in the tiny space at the top, not occupying the larger portions of their diet further down the pyramid. And I want my boys to enjoy TV without being indoctrinated by advertising which basically says “if it feels good, do it.”  If kids swallow that message hook-line-sinker, it’s no stretch of the imagination to believe it makes it even harder to say no to other things in the future that seem to feel good in the initial stages like binge-drinking, drug-taking, sex in the backseat of cars …

I invite your response.

One stream of thought in the debate is that parents should stop blaming the advertisers and “just say no” to their children. Well, ok. There’s a point there; I say no to my kids apparently often enough for one of them to accuse me occasionally of being the worst dad in the world. ["You won't let me eat a bag of lollies (candy) right before I go to bed??!! You're the worst Dad in the world!!!]

But let’s be honest. Monkey see, monkey do. Any cursory study of the development of the human brain reveals that in childhood (especially early childhood when many habits are formed), the brain is a sponge and the child often learns by seeing and copying.

Kids are swamped in advertising that shows them people being made happy by eating crap. If you said no, no, no to a kid about eating junk, and limited it to a relatively healthy frequency,  a lot of kids are still so indoctrinated by marketing media (and the prevalence of the junk in the school yard) that they’ll find a way to get it, even if they have to steal 50 cents here and there, sneak around to their friends’ places after school or guilt-trip their grandparents into providing it.

I invite a response to that thought.

***

In other news, still trying to get time to fix the problems with the site. Hope you’ll perservere with me.

Other posts:

• Still Loading
• Feed me, Seymour – FEED ME!
• Parents Put Food Marketing Practises on Trial

What to do if your child faces bullying

If your child is being bullied, assess the situation quickly and calmly, gather information and take action. Children need to know that you take the situation seriously and will help stop bullying.

Here are steps you can take if your child is bullied:

• Encourage your child to talk about the bullying.
• Listen in a loving manner.
• Don’t let your child see that you’re upset, which can make the situation worse. (I screwed this one up. Don’t know that it made it worse actually; I think the way I handled it gave him confidence and reassurance. But I agree that too much anxiety on the part of the parent just inflames the anxiety of the child)
• Tell your child that he or she isn’t to blame for being bullied. Don’t assume that your child did something to provoke or aggravate a school bully. A bully often picks on someone for no reason at all.
• Support your child’s feelings. Instead of dismissing their concerns or simply telling him or her that it’ll work out eventually, express understanding and concern, such as saying, “I understand you’re having a rough time. Let’s work together to deal with this.”
• Ask your child if he or she has ideas about how to stop the bullying.
• Don’t encourage retaliation against a bully.
  Teach your child safety skills when bullying occurs. This may include knowing where to turn for immediate help, how to be assertive, using humor to defuse a situation and appropriate diplomacy skills, such as agreeing with taunts that an item of clothing is ugly, for instance.
• Consider professional or school counseling for your child if fear or anxiety becomes overwhelming.
• Gather as much information as possible about the bullying. Ask your child to describe how and when the bullying occurs and who is involved. Ask you child if other children or adults have witnessed any bullying incidents.
• Talk to your child’s educators, including teachers and principals. Work together to find real solutions now. Don’t contact the bully’s parents yourself. Let the school handle that potentially sensitive situation.
• If your child has been physically attacked or is threatened with harm, talk to school officials immediately to help determine if police should be involved.

Teach your child skills to handle bullying

Teach your child how to handle and cope with bullying, with your help. This can also include teaching your child about resilience, or skills to endure difficult times. Here is what you can teach a child who is being bullied:

• Don’t react to the bullying. Bullies may give up if they don’t get attention.
• Don’t fight back.
• Try role-playing or practice what you’ll say to a bully, such as, “I want you to stop now.” (This worked extremely well for us with the issue last year)
• Show confidence with your head held high.
• Stick with a friend while on the bus, in the cafeteria, between classes, or while walking to and from school.
• Talk to an adult. Parents, teachers, principals and guidance counselors can help you stop the bullying.
• Try to meet classmates who are friendly and supportive and who will include you in their activities.

For more go here…

“We’ve known for a while now that females do as well as males on tests that measure ability in math and science,” said Pamela Davis-Kean, a psychologist at the U-M Institute for Social Research (ISR). “But women are still underrepresented in science, technology, engineering and math graduate programs and in careers based on those disciplines.”

It’s as if women are saying, “I can, but I don’t want to,” according to Davis-Kean.

In a study she presented recently at a campus meeting, Davis-Kean and colleagues analyzed how parents’ values and attitudes affect children’s math performance and later interest, and how these attitudes vary by the child’s gender. They used data from a longitudinal study of more than 800 children and a large group of their parents that began in 1987 and continued through 2000.

They found that parents provided more math-supportive environments for their sons than for their daughters, including buying more math and science toys for the boys. They also spent more time on math and science activities with their sons than with their daughters…

“Fathers’ gender stereotypes are very important in supporting—or in undermining—daughters’ choices to pursue training in math and science,” Davis-Kean said…

I was listening to a speech by Dr Richard Swenson MD on the subject of Happiness and Health. He was making the well-worn statement that laughter is good for the body as well as the soul.

He also made the following points:

• The peak age for laughter for human beings is 4 years old
• 4 year olds laugh on average 400 times a day, or once every 4 minutes!
• By the time we’re 42 (the age I’ll be in 2008), we’re down to laughing 15 times a day (actually, that’s 15 times a day more than many adults I know!)
• Follow a 4-year-old around for a day, laugh at everything they laugh at and you’ll be less-stressed, saner and healthier overall.

It made me wonder: what happens to us between 4 and 40? Where do all our laughs go? Maybe the older we get, they get stolen by children??

Whatever the answer, it seems that kids (given the chance of course) intrinsically know something we grown-ups don’t: life is wonderful.

Not a good dog for kids though, first because he had never learned to play (he’d been a racing dog before we adopted him) and second because of his size (a small misdemeanour became a big one because of this). One day our then-4-year-old suprised him when he was sleeping and he bit out, catching the boy on his lip. It was only a minor cut (thank you God!) but the red flag went up.

“Rocky” (the dog not the boy!) had to find a more appropriate home.

Wish I’d spent the time on dog education before that incident.

Here’s the essentials to teach kids:

(More later…)

In fact, you may be a new Dad who’s feeling really bad and can’t work out why. You’re suffering in silence. You might have never come across the concept of New Dads being lumbered with Depression (”That’s just for the chicks, isn’t it?”).

Just knowing this can help you start climbing out of it. (I say “climbing out of it” rather than “accepting it”, because we men are problem-solvers and if you are suffering from this, it’s not a once-and-for-all deal! good news huh?)

I’ll refer you first to a blogpost by Age newspaper columnist Sacha Molitorisz from February 2007. It’s especially worth reading the comments at the bottom of the page: some perspective from real people.

Next, I’ve included below some excerpts from the Australian study “PERINATAL MOOD DISORDERS: DEFINITIONS, TREATMENT AND IMPLICATIONS” by Robert Lindsey July 2004…

Perinatal mood disorders affect both men and women. Most parents are more vulnerable after the birth of their children than at any other time in their life cycle.

For the father they experience the pregnancy, labour, delivery and parenting in a different way to mothers and differences in their daily experiences, mismatched expectations of each other can lead to build up of resentment in their relationship. Ten percent of males will experience depression in their life and most of these episodes will last between four to twelve months. Often dad’s feel marginalized, exhausted and depressed and little help is available for them from health professionals.

New fathers have reported that they experience less sleep, freedom, attention, and sexual activity, limited support from colleagues and increased work, performance anxiety and responsibility. If men become stressed at home, it can affect their work negatively. The two major stresses for men are:

• Role overload (feeling that their responsibilities in one area are making them less effective in another).
• Arguments with their partners and children.

In a further study conducted by Flinders University and reported in this article, many men were ill prepared for the impact that raising a child would have on their sex lives. The decline in satisfaction and frequency of intercourse in the year after their birth can cause significant distress among men. Some of the subsequent traits included increased use of alcohol, withdrawing socially and becoming detached from the child.

***** 

I’ve been thinking a lot about the whole “feeling flat” thing in general this year. It doesn’t surprise me that many men experience this after not only the first but even subsequent children are born.

In conversation over dinner last night, my wife (Ninja) chipped in the observation that women are also more physically prepared (in some ways) because they are used to the sleeplessness etc. (This is not to minimise how hard it is for women at all!) Her point was that men are suddenly thrust into months (I say years!) of broken sleep as well as high demands on their emotional and physical reserves – and often have to go out and meet high demands in the workplace as well. They don’t come home to a rest but to more demands. (I thought this was very empathetic of my wife – maybe she’ll let me out of doing the dishes tonight!)

I also wonder whether the malaise comes and goes for us men. It stems from different things for different men.

I was truly happy around the births of my two boys (the ones living that is – another one was born in between them died at birth). I found the adjustment to fatherhood physically wearing, but the first year was actually the easiest in many ways. It’s gotten more and more challenging as the years have worn on. There’s been many times I’ve sunk into the malaise for months at a time – functional, but not contributing anywhere near my best to my work, my mission, my family, my self.

Were it not for my “brothers” – some blunt, funny, fair dinkum, encouraging, stretching friends – with steel in their backbones, kids of their own and open hearts and lives – I think I’d have royally screwed up parenting. They’ve kept me on track and helped me look after myself so I can look after others…

If I could recommend anything humbly to men having a hard time of life, parenthood, midlife, whatever, it would be this:

DON’T GO IT ALONE. GET A GROUP OF GUYS AROUND YOU WHO GIVE YOU BOTH HIGH STANDARDS TO LIVE UP TO BUT ALSO GIVE YOU THE SUPPORT, THE COMPANY AND RESOURCING YOU NEED.

Jill Stark
February 12, 2007

Australia’s obesity epidemic is reaching crisis point and the number of overweight children will rise to 60 per cent within 30 years unless the Government invests billions, according to a health expert.

Kevin Norton, professor of exercise science at Sport Knowledge Australia, accused state and federal governments of failing to stem rising obesity rates, which could cripple the national health system.

In the first study to look at the weight of Australian children over the last century, researchers found that obesity rates jumped from 4 per cent in 1901 to more than 30 per cent in 2003.

The study found that in 30 years’ time the number of overweight or obese children will double, matching the current rate of adult obesity.

Professor Norton likened the seriousness of the problem to that of climate change and said failure to act now could have devastating consequences.

“We are going to need new money – in the same way we’ve done with the climate change issue – for interventions to tackle the problem,” he said. “If we’re going to have an impact we’ll need hundreds of millions, if not billions … because we’re running out of money and the health-care costs can’t continue.”

The report, published in the International Journal of Pediatric Obesity, took in data from 41 studies since 1901 that weighed 500,000 Australian children aged five to 15.

The figures reveal a low, steady rate of obesity until the 1970s when the rate increased.

Professor Norton said the spike coincided with a decline in physical education in schools, and called for compulsory classes from year 1 to year 12.

“It’s got to be put in the same bracket as maths and English and reading and writing skills. If we do national testing for that surely we should educate our kids about their health through physical activity and nutrition programs in schools,” he said.

“Last year’s estimates of direct financial costs placed the obesity epidemic throughout Australia at somewhere around $3.5 billion.”

The Age revealed last year that Australia has the fastest growing rate of childhood obesity in the world.

Professor Norton described recent Government prevention measures – such as a ban on soft drinks in Victorian state schools – as little more than “tinkering”.

Professor Norton said policies such as adding half a cent per litre to the price of petrol could generate enough money to put one physical education teacher into every school in Australia for a year.

*****

Not sure I want to pay MORE for petrol Professor, but if we could be sure they’d spend it on PE teachers, then I would …

I reckon there’s more we can do without waiting for government: for instance, what if primary/elementary school teachers and parents cooperated to give lower homework levels (which are ridiculously high for children and largely achieve nothing but stress anyway) in the Summer/Daylight-Savings months and to send kids outside to play (no computer, no TV, no Gameboy)?

Sorry, crazy idea…

With part of my background in retail, I’m well-aware of why there just happen to be chocolate bars, chips, novelty items and children’s magazines placed at the counter in the supermarket and at a 5 year old’s eye-level.

And doesn’t it just ping you off to have to say “No you can’t… No you can’t … No you can’t …” to your child’s repeated cries of ”But I want it!” – while the cashier looks at you as if you are a child-abuser.

[Confession: I ... ahem, I mean, a friend of mine ... has been known to quietly crush a few chocolate bars or knock them on to the floor & kick them under the counter in an act of passive-aggressive revenge for what these shops put us parents and our kids through!]

Maybe, just maybe, things are going to change …

The Parents Jury is a web-based network of parents who wish to improve the food and physical activity environments for children in Australia. Their latest press release (dated yesterday) indicates that there is a huge groundswell of anger amongst parents toward the marketing of unhealthy foods. It reads (in part) like this:

 Australian parents will be asked to nominate the best and worst food marketing practices targeting children when the new  Trial by Jury campaign is launched today.

 A ‘guilty’ verdict will be handed down by the Jury on the food marketing campaign parents think is worst, and an ‘honourable mention’ will be given to the one they can’t get enough of. The Jury’s decision will be final and the winner will be exposed to the Australian media and parents across the country.

 Twenty-first century marketers spend millions of dollars each year conjuring up new and creative ways to lure children into buying their unhealthy foods. Media savvy kids are finding food marketing popping up on their mobile phones, gaming sites and email screens. Sadly, most of the foods being promoted to children are high in fat, sugar or salt.  Trial by Jury promises to expose all types of food marketing aimed at children. These include:

• In-store (eg in supermarkets, video or fast food stores) promotions and giveaways
• Food websites specifically targeting children with games / competitions / giveaways
• Computer games with food promotions embedded into them
• School and educational resource marketing including sponsorship and giveaways
• Viral marketing (shush … pass it on …)
• Text message marketing 

I’d add saturation marketing as a tactic … and I say Hooray that someone is tackling the @#$%#!!s who sweet-sell harmful crap to vulnerable people (ie., children & adolescents) … and do it in a way that encourages a feeling of desolation within the young person if they don’t get what has been presented to them. This sense of loss or “missing out” then puts pressure on the relationship between parent and child.

Ah, I could stay on a soapbox for hours on this one.

If you’re an Aussie parent, go to the Parents Jury site and get involved. Let’s force some corporate responsibilty here.

(The UK also has its version of the Parents Jury. I’m interested to hear if there’s others)

Being male (= impatient), I’d probably start 6 min 30 sec into the video when the psychologist comes on.

NOTE: I am not a computerphobe. I’m using one right now. But I’m concerned that my kids use it too much and this helped my thinking and action around setting appropriate boundaries.