Dads n Lads Retreats

Dudes and dudettes, it’s on! During the 90s I worked with youth. During the naughties I’ve increasingly worked with Dads. About time we combined them.

In 2010, we are putting on the most outrageously good-time retreats for Dads and their 11-13 year old sons where we can share some tried and tested strategies for building the kind of bond our sons need from us Dads while actually DOING THE BONDING! And everyone will be having so much fun they won’t even realise it’s happening.

See our Events page  here for more.

Tell me if you have corporate contacts who can help us take  this to the highest level and quality possible. I truly believe 2010 will see dozens of families with restored relationships, with an unshakeable bond between father and son, and with preventative meaures in place to save young people from the slippery slope of substance abuse and violence that’s plauging their generation.

Teeth

Teeth. Sigh. Is there anything more tedious than brushing them, flossing them, buffing them, glossing them? (Sorry, I got possessed by the spirit of Dr Seuss for a moment there…)

But ya gotta do it. I am the unproud bearer of yellow ones because I didn’t look after them as a teenager. I am missing a few due to decay and have fillings in others. So as I raise my boys, it’s important to me to have them eat right and look after their teeth.

But important to me and important to them are two different things. I don’t know whether I’ve talked about the difference between my 2 boys; I often sing the theme from the Odd Couple as they pass by.

Oldest Son is kinda like Felix, but with a surfer hair style and much better dress sense. And youngest son is of course Oscar the slob. Oh, he doesn’t mean to be, but neat hair, unstained clothes and having space to walk across the bedroom floor just aren’t priorities when there are so many other things to focus on, like daydreaming, daydreaming and his favorite passtime daydreaming.

So guess which one has trouble with his teeth? Yep: Oscar. Sigh. But sometimes the more you push, or manipluate or trick the kids with fancy psychology, the more they just resist. The tooth debate is in recess at the moment at my house (during which he’ll probably surprise me and get out the electric toothbrush to start buffing…)

Today I came across some helpful material on the Raising Children Network here in Oz. The first item I’ll link to is a video about eating habits and tooth care which features a nice cameo from Russell Crowe. (What a great voice!). The second is an article about School-age dental care. Both have links off to other topics in the series.

WARNING DAD JOKE: So don’t give your kids’ dental health the brushoff; go check out these links.

Saving $$$

I don’t know about you, folks, but teaching kids to save money has been an important thing to me, and something that I practised from the time they first earned pocket money. It was always an uphill battle, as kids see money and want to spend it (just like I do).

One of the disciplines I instilled in them was to give them a saving target – either an item they wanted to buy or an amount (say $20 for an 8 year old). I also for a while insisted that they save half of their allowance while free to spend the remainder as soon as they wanted (= immediately).

And then I have relatives whose kids own shares by the time they’re 13 or buy their own xboxes in record time because of the saving habits and work ethics they’ve developed.

So what practises do you use in your family when it comes to kids and finances?

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In other news, I’m currently on holidays, so if I don’t reply, I”m not ignoring you. Feel free to comment and have a grand old conversation amongst yourselves without me. Just don’t be one of those jerks who tries to fill my comments pages with swearwords and links to naughty sites .

(Loosely) Related Posts:

• What Would MacGyver Do?
• New Dads

Thought for the Day

“Don’t handicap your children by making their lives easy.”

Robert A Heinlein

More Dog Safety for Kids

Here’s some more instructions for Kids, lifted from other websites…

If a dog approaches you:

• Don’t run away and scream.
• Stand very still, “like a tree.” (See first picture below.)
• Avoid making direct eye contact with the dog.
  If you fall or are knocked down, act “like a log.” (See second picture below.)
  When the dog understands that you are not a threat, it will probably walk away.
  If a dog bites you, tell an adult right away.

So both this post and the last on the topic have had some good information. Like most subjects, this information is easily understood by adults – but how do we get this across to kids?

My suggestions to begin with would include the following but maybe you have some more to add in the comments area?

• show the child what you mean with a picture or soft toy! (How often do you just filter out what people are saying to you? Kids do it more.) For example, you raise the teddy bear’s “hackles” (fur behind the head) to show the child what that looks like.
• help them understand the relevance by telling a story (we all need to know WHY the information is important before we listen and apply it).
• make a time specifically devoted to talking through this subject; don’t sandwich it in between brushing their teeth and grabbing their schoolbag in the morning or part of the dinner table conversation. Avoid distractions while talking about it.
• go back over the points with them often. Ask them questions about it. Give them quizzes with a prize. Get them saying the information back to you (until they say in frustration “I know this!” and then ask them once more! )

You can read more on this important subject here.

Dog Safety for Kids

We owned a greyhound briefly. Great dog: compliant, friendly, placid.

Not a good dog for kids though, first because he had never learned to play (he’d been a racing dog before we adopted him) and second because of his size (a small misdemeanour became a big one because of this). One day our then-4-year-old suprised him when he was sleeping and he bit out, catching the boy on his lip. It was only a minor cut (thank you God!) but the red flag went up.

“Rocky” (the dog not the boy!) had to find a more appropriate home.

Wish I’d spent the time on dog education before that incident.

Here’s the essentials to teach kids:

Don’t go near strange dogs in the street or park.

Tell an adult about any stray dogs.

Never bother a dog that is eating, sleeping or caring for puppies.

Leave the dog alone if it raises the hair on its back, lifts its lip or growls (it’s not playing)

If you want to pat a dog at someone’s house, ask permission from the owner and make sure the owner is with you and watching when you do.

Always have an adult with you when you play with a dog.

When you play with a dog for the first time, put the back of your hand out slowly for the dog to sniff. If the dog offers you its head, don’t pat it on top of the head but gently rub under its chin or chest

Never tease a dog, never tease a dog, never tease a dog!

Don’t squeal (this works well at keeping adults from attacking you too!)

(More later…)

Empathy and Kids

I thought I would post a letter I received from a friend, verbatim. This represents a great idea for helping our Gen Y/Z kids get a sense of perspective on how much wealth they actually have. It was a great launchpad for a discussion with Younger Son this morning about how we can help less fortunate people.

One of my upcoming teleclasses coming up later this year at Great Circle will  be on this very issue (ie., developing empathy in children), but here and now I’ll let Bryan do the rest of the talking…

Dear Friends,

Just yesterday at the dinner table my son asked me if we were rich. I thought this was a fantastic question. My immediate thought was to say of course we are not rich, but upon a little reflection I said just the opposite. His question prompted me to do a little research. I found this website http://www.globalrichlist.com/ which is a calculator that shows just how rich your family is compared to everyone else in the world. You type in your annual salary and the website ranks your wealth against every other person in the world. I was amazed to see where I actually ranked! Next time you need a reminder of all the blessings you have, log on. Don’t forget to say a little prayer for those who live on so much less than we have.

With Love & (Fresh) Thankfulness,

Your Friend Bryan